The Quiet Warrior Podcast with Serena Low

141: What Cancer Taught This Solopreneur About Succession Planning, Self-Advocacy, and Knowing When to Ask for Help (Deb Krier)

• Serena Low, Introvert Coach for Quiet Achievers and Quiet Warriors

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What do you do when life hands you a diagnosis — and you're the person everyone else depends on?

Deb Krier was a “good patient” kind of person. Annual physical. Mammogram. Did everything right. And still didn't make it home from the hospital before the phone rang.

What followed over the next decade was 34 surgeries under general anaesthesia, a stage zero diagnosis that leapt to stage four almost overnight, septic shock with a 75% fatality rate — and a surgeon who told her husband she would be dead by midnight.

Her response? Excuse me. I get to vote.

In this episode, Deb — cancer advocate, strategic advisor, creator of TryingNotToDie.live, and host of the Business Power Hour — shares what she's learned about leading through a health crisis without losing yourself, your business, or your people..

If you've ever pushed through difficulty alone because you feared what people would think — this one is for you.

You'll learn:

  • Why hiding a health crisis from your clients almost always backfires
  • How to maintain decision-making authority when your brain has short-circuited
  • What solopreneurs need to put in place before a crisis hits
  • Why asking for help is not weakness — it's what warriors do

Key Takeaways:

  •  Isolation is the enemy. The instinct to hide a health crisis from your clients and colleagues is understandable — but it's the thing most likely to make everything harder.
  • Transparency converts people into supporters. When Deb told her clients the truth, they didn't pull away. They asked, what can we do to help?
  • You are the decision-maker — even when the white coats disagree. Give yourself the time to grieve, gather yourself, and then choose the path that is right for you.
  • Bring backup to the hard appointments. A level-headed person by your side can hold onto information your shocked brain can't process.
  • Build your systems before you need them. Automated invoicing, a backup contact, someone who can handle the basics — these are not just illness preparations. They're what lets you take a vacation too.
  • The strongest thing you can do is ask for help. Reaching out — to a friend, a counsellor, a faith community, a stranger on Facebook — is not weakness. It is what warriors do.
  • Gratitude doesn't have to be grand. It can be as simple as: I woke up. The project didn't get done, and the world didn't stop.

About Deb Krier

Deb Krier is a cancer advocate and strategic advisor for executives and business owners navigating the personal and professional impact of a cancer diagnosis. She provides high-level guidance for leaders who want to maintain their executive presence and decision-making authority while managing the complex realities of cancer.

Deb is the creator of TryingNotToDie.live and the host of the Business Power Hour.

Gentle invitation for Quiet Leaders:

If you love learning at your own pace, I’ve created a mini-course that you can digest in a weekend. You can download it here:

https://www.quietwarrioracademy.com/leadershipforintroverts


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Work with Serena Low at serenalow.com.au. 

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This episode was edited by Aura House Productions

Welcome And Why This Matters

SPEAKER_00

Welcome! Our guest today is Deb Greer, cancer advocate and strategic advisor for executives and business owners navigating the personal and professional impact of a cancer diagnosis. She's also the creator of trying not to die. Deb provides high-level guidance for leaders who want to maintain their executive presence and decision-making authority while managing the complex realities of cancer. Her role is to help them move forward with clarity, protect their reputation, and continue leading on their own terms. Welcome Deb to the Quiet Warrior Podcast.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, thank you, Serena. I am so delighted and honored to be here. You have a fabulous podcast. I love listening to some of your other episodes.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, thank you so much, Deb. Let's talk about this very important topic: leadership in a health crisis. What are you observing? What have you learned? What's the problem you've

The Hidden Cost Of Leader Isolation

SPEAKER_00

noticed?

SPEAKER_03

Well, you know, it a lot of it is self-experience, right? Um, when I was first diagnosed, and that's been a little over 10 years ago, I looked at my doctor and I said, I'm sorry, I don't have time for that. And she looked at me and kind of laughed, right? But I think it is that way, especially, you know, we we all want to go into denial. I mean, that's just natural human nature. But I think when you're a business owner or um a senior leader, you're thinking, well, I can't tell anybody because they're going to think that I can't do my job. Um, and so they they are very isolated, and which is, you know, the the worst thing that you possibly can be because you need the support from everybody in order to make it through this journey. What has your own journey been like? Bumpy. You know, it's it's funny. Uh when I when I tell people, they're like, oh my. Um, so it did start about 10 and a half years ago, a little over that. I was a good kid, went in for my annual physical and had my mammogram, right? Because we're we're good girls. We do that. And I didn't even get home from the hospital. And they called and said, you need to come back. Now, many years ago, I worked for an oncologist and I worked for the American Cancer Society. So I knew, uh-oh, there's there's something that's going on. And so I went back and you know, had another mammogram and was diagnosed with microcalcifications. And I did the thing I tell people not to do. I went to Dr. Google.

From Stage Zero To Stage Four

SPEAKER_03

I'd never heard that term. And and that that really reassured me because what I discovered was all women of a certain age start getting these microcalcifications. It's just as the hormones in our bodies change, we get these things. And they're actually so small that the human eye could not see it. The computer saw it. And you know, and so we had a couple more tests, and uh what was going on was um they were actually gathering together, which that's the bad part. They weren't just wandering willy-nilly through my body, they were starting to group. So I was diagnosed at that point with stage zero, basically pre-cancer. Let's just watch it. Had a couple more really fun biopsies, um, because there was no lump, no bump, no anything like that. And and uh, and then my doctor, and I didn't even get an oncologist. Nobody thought I needed one. And so uh it was a surgeon who was doing some of this, and and she said, you know what, let's let's go ahead and pull some lymph nodes. So she took, you know, we which was the first surgical procedure that I had for this, and she um came out and and told me and uh and and my husband, well, eight of 12 of the lymph nodes were positive for cancer. So I went from stage zero to stage three, just poof, all right. And and that was when I said, I'm sorry, I don't have time for this, you know, because I knew, oh no, this is this is gonna be big. At that point, I did get an oncologist. Um, and I decided that for me, I wanted to do the traditional approach. And that's one of the things I tell people is you have to pick what works for you, what you think is gonna be the best thing for you. So I was gonna do chemotherapy, surgery, radiation. My very first chemotherapy was a massive dose. It was eight different drugs because these things were floating throughout my body, right? And so we wanted to be as aggressive as we could. I made it four days and ended up in the hospital in septic shock. Um, it had uh the chemo had caused a perforation of my colon and I was inches away from dying. Um, I remember the the uh oncologist and the surgeon were fighting out in the hall, but I could hear them because the surgeon said, I see no reason to try to do anything. She will be dead by midnight. And I remember thinking, excuse me, I get to vote. Um, and luckily the oncologist prevailed. Now, um, you know, and and clearly, you know, he did the surgery. I uh uh discovered that septic shock is fatal about 75% of the time because your body just cannot fight that off. And, you know, uh I had multiple other surgeries, in and out of ICU, all sorts of things. I was in the hospital about seven weeks. Um, and and during that time, I did say, hey, you know, the rib on my bad side, you know, because they had decided, okay, there's we're gonna say that the cancer is on the left side. Um, I said, my rib hurts, that bone. And so off I go to, you know, get get more fun tests. And that came back as inconclusive. And so my oncologist said, you know what? We're gonna say it's stage four, because that way we can, we, we have different treatment options that, you know, we can uh we're gonna be able to treat this more aggressively. And some of my charts actually say that I have bone cancer. Now, nothing ever in all of the gazillion scans I've had since then has ever shown anything. So, you know, knock on wood. But um, you know, so I I at that point she said, okay, your diagnosis is stage four, triple positive metastatic breast cancer. I and I was like, I can't, that doesn't fit on the line when you have to, you know, what have you got, right? Um, and but stage four is not considered curable. Now it can go into remission and never, never have anything. And and um, and I did hit the magic 10-year mark. Um, you know, that's that's five years, 10 years, and and um, but you know, so we did that. I had decided to have a double mastectomy um without reconstructive surgery, partially because I'm old and you know, I didn't want any more who needs those anyway, right? Um, and uh got a complication from that that my surgeon had never seen. I mean, I just kept piling on the oh my gosh, I can't believe you got this, uh, you know, type of things. It was pretty easy to fix. I did end up in uh with sepsis again and uh had to had to be hospitalized, sailed through my radiation treatments, had absolutely no problem with those, which was really surprising because I am fair-complexed, I'm a redhead that burns easy, but no, I I didn't have any problems. Um, but we we decided no more chemo ever, probably ever again, no matter what. It's just not not gonna work. And so um I I still take a drug called her septin. Um, and it's kind of gone through some evolutions in 10 years that's made it much easier. It used to be an IV infusion that I had to have, and now, and I've been doing this for a year, I just get an injection. Um, it does go into my thigh because it's a big shot, but that's a heck of a lot easier than getting um IVs. And we'll do that, you know, as long as my body tolerates it. But along the way, I also was diagnosed with basal cell carcinoma, which that sounds horrible. That's your garden variety skin cancer. Um, and I'm a red-headed freckly kid that grew up at an elevation of 8,000 feet. So, you know, it was it was probably a done deal that I was gonna have that. Um, and then it's been three years ago now, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. And it is a totally new cancer. So I've had three unrelated cancers. Um, and for the thyroid, we caught it very, very early. I actually had two tumors. I had one on either side. Uh, so they removed my entire thyroid gland. And the nice thing is I didn't have to have any treatment because we did catch it so early. But yeah, I mean, you know, it's in and out of the hospital, in and out of lots of surgeries. Um, you know, the I've just I've had 34 times where I've actually been knocked out, so general anesthesia. 34 in 10 years, uh, which kind of befuddles your little brain a bit. Um, but the whole time, as much as I could, I kept working because that gave me something to be focusing on.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like I have to take a deep breath on behalf of everyone who's listening. Yeah, I it's it's wild. 34 in 10 years and three cancers and you telling the oncologist you have no time for this. Right.

Staying At Work With Honest Updates

SPEAKER_00

And darn if I didn't have to make time, a lot of it. So how did you manage the work side of things? You said you continued working, but I can imagine there would be days when your brain just doesn't brain. How do you deal with all that?

SPEAKER_03

Um, well, one of the things, the hospitals and doctors' offices all have really good Wi-Fi now here in the in the States. I'm I'm always working. I mean, you know, I've got my phone. I can be sitting there checking emails and things. The thing that one of the the things that was an absolute blessing were my clients because I told them what was going on, had no idea how they were gonna react, right? You know, they might have told me, you can't do the work, go away. They might have said, you need to focus on yourself, go do that. Mine said, What can we do to help you? And I actually still work with them. You know, I've worked with them this entire time. And so I think that's been a big part of it was I didn't have to be finding new clients. I was able to just kind of keep the same workflow. They all understand that, you know, I go in for treatment every 21 days, and so I'm gonna drop off the face of the earth for for a day or two. But I do keep them apprised of, you know, hey, I've got this going on or that going on, and so it could be a little shaky for a while. And again, they all say you do what you need to do. Um, and I I know I've been very blessed with that.

SPEAKER_00

I think what really helps in a crisis situation like that is the willingness of leaders to be transparent about what exactly is going on. Because when people know, then they can make an informed decision. And that's it's very thoughtful, it's very considerate, it doesn't leave anyone hanging and making assumptions. So now and the blessing out of all that is that they become your allies and your supporters too. Right, right.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because if I hadn't told them anything, they would have thought, well, how come there's several days a month where she just doesn't do any work? Or, you know, we've we've lost her for you know, they they would have thought that I was incompetent. Um, you know, and and do I share everything with them? No. I mean, I don't, you know, but but they know enough uh to to be able to to deal with it.

Choosing Treatment And Firing Doctors

SPEAKER_00

Beautiful. Now I want to circle back to something you said at a start, which is to do with making the decision or the choice about your medical options. And you said something about you are the best person to decide what works for you. Is it always the case though? Sometimes we when we are in that kind of position and we're feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed, we really don't know what's the best for us. And we I think it's very very normal actually to want to hand over that decision making to someone who knows better. Right. Because they are medically trained.

SPEAKER_03

You know, it's I I it's you know, I I love your podcast. I am very much an extrovert. Everybody can tell that already, right? But I think we become an introvert when things like because we we go into our shell, right? And a lot of that is because we are processing, we are thinking. It's not that we're shutting down, we are in a way shutting down, but we're thinking, we are really thinking. And of course, those people in those white coats are really, really smart. And if they say, hey, you know, you should do this, it is in many ways, you know, something where we're gonna defer to them, but they don't know us, they don't know what's going on inside of us. And there are so many treatment options for whatever it is anymore that people really need to think about it. Now, obviously there are times where there's an emergency, but when you can stop and pause, kind of let your brain gather itself, because when you're told, hey, you've got cancer, your brain just shorts out. Um, you know, and and so give yourself that that time to kind of grieve and be angry and then carefully research, you know. Like I said, avoid Dr. Google. Uh and please, folks, AI, no, mm-mm, no, no. If you do, do it very carefully. Um, but and then come to the decision of what you're going to do. It can be total tradition, um, you know, Western medicine approach, like I chose. More times now though, people are doing combinations, right? They're they're uh adding in nutrition, they're adding in um, you know, a variety of things. But it has to be, again, what you think is going to be the best thing for you. And you know, you might need to be talking it over with family members, people like that. You know, but but yeah, it's it's still your decision. And if your medical team is pushy, then you might need a different medical team.

SPEAKER_00

That takes some guts to say I need a different medical team because I decided to be a good idea.

SPEAKER_03

I fired three doctors of this. Yep. I have fired three doctors through the course of this. And it's not to say they were bad doctors, it just they weren't the right doctors for me. That is peak self-advocacy. You know, and it's uh we do have to to advocate for ourselves. Um, you know, and and and again, you know, you might need your family there. I one of the things I tell people is when you go for that first appointment where they are bombarding you with everything, take somebody with you. Have written down your questions, you know, and and so that because you know, you aren't gonna think straight. And make sure that that you know you've got that. Record it. Now, here in the states, sometimes doctors will tell you that that's a HIPAA violation. It is not. If you are recording your own medical appointment, you can do that. You can't record somebody else's. Um, but yeah, you can you can record your own. And that's actually to their benefit also, because you know, like if we go to the doctor and we've got the flu, we come home and we go, when was I supposed to take that medicine? And when you're told, hey, you've got cancer and we need to do this and this and this and this and this and the, you know, you heard you've got cancer, and that's as far as it went. So recording it can help you go back through and and really filter through it. Um, but yeah, you absolutely positively have to advocate for yourself.

SPEAKER_00

That's a really smart thing to do. And I'm glad you mentioned it explicitly, the importance of advocating for yourself and the importance of finding some way to document what you're being told, because who can remember all those medical and scientific terms, right?

SPEAKER_03

I know. I'm I they gave me something, and I'm like, there's nothing in here that has less than 25 letters in it.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and I think what you said also about bringing someone with you. That is extremely important when you can't, you know, you're you're still reacting emotionally. You're you're maybe a bit frozen and you can't quite process what's going on. It's good to have a reliable person next to you.

SPEAKER_03

Right. So and you know, it might vary as to who it is. You know, I took my husband, he's very level-headed. Um, but I've gone to appointments with people because they didn't have someone that they that they thought they could could um include. And that's okay. Sometimes it's a friend, sometimes it's a parent, you know, depending on your age, it might be your child, um, you know, because you know, they I'm not saying if they're 10, but if

Solopreneurs Need Backups And Systems

SPEAKER_03

they're you know 20 and up, you might take, you know, and and um, but yeah, take somebody with you at those first appointments because there's so much, and you need somebody to help you keep track of that.

SPEAKER_00

Now I want to ask you from the business point of view, I know we talked about how it might be especially challenging if someone's a solopreneur going through a health crisis. How would that be different from someone who has a team?

SPEAKER_03

Right. Well, you don't have anyone to rely on. Um, and so one of the biggest decisions you need to to make is what is going to happen to your business. You mentioned my podcast. Um for oh, about eight weeks, we had the best doves that broadcast, right? Because there was no way I was gonna be able to do anything. Um, and if it had just completely gone on hiatus, that would have been fine. But as a solopreneur, you really don't have someone you can delegate to, someone you can empower. And so now is the time to think of that. And and you might you might obviously have really scaled back what you're doing, but you still need somebody to maybe be reading your emails, um, uh be paying your bills, all of those things that you might not be able to do. And hopefully you don't need somebody to do that. But, you know, it's just a good thing, no matter what, to have those backup people because you never know when something might happen, or heaven forbid you want to go on vacation. Um, you know, and and but right as solopreneurs, our phones are attached to us. Yeah, we're just we're always working. But it's, you know, yeah, it's it's okay to to have other people who can help you out. Or, you know, like I said, maybe you just tell your clients for right now, you're gonna get me for an hour a day, or you're gonna get me an hour a week, or not at all for a while, and you know, kind of have a conversation with them as to how that's gonna proceed.

SPEAKER_00

So have the conversation, keep people in the loop, and have systems.

SPEAKER_03

Right. And so many people, especially solopreneurs, we don't have systems, and I'm raising my hand on that one, right? Um, you know, uh when I discovered that QuickBooks, I could set it to automatically invoice the heavens parted and the angels sang, right? Um, because I I literally had clients who would call and say, you know, you haven't invoiced us in a while. And so, yeah, there are so many things now, and especially with AI adding into it, that you can automate. You know, you're still your brain, you're still you still have to do that work, but there are things that can be automated. You can even have it read your emails, um, you know, and do all sorts of things. And again, that frees you up to do other things when you're healthy. You know, maybe you take up a new hobby, maybe you you add to your business, whatever it is, um, you know, try and and offload some of those things that can be automated.

SPEAKER_00

And I suppose as a side parallel or, you know, a similar situation would be because you mentioned that your husband has been very supportive through all this. Now, for people who are singles and also solopreneurs, that could present a different set of problems.

SPEAKER_03

It's gonna be a huge problem. Um, you know, and and I was very blessed. I wouldn't have I could not have made it through without my husband, um, and several other family members and and you know, really great friends. But you know, hopefully someone has siblings, they have friends, they have other people they can turn to. Sometimes they don't. I mean, I was working one of the people that I went to her appointment with her, she told me, she said, I don't have anyone. And I felt really bad. I just I felt so bad. I was actually personally, I was uncomfortable going to her appointment because we weren't friends. I was just an acquaintance, and it it was very disheartening to me that I was the person that she turned to. Um, you know, and and and then it turned out she actually she did have more friends than she thought. And I think that it's that way with a lot of people, you know, it might be people that you network with or you're in, you know, a church, you know, things like that. I think you'll find people. Who will want to help, at least on a personal level. You know, they might not be able to help with your business. And um, but you know, maybe they can do things like drive you to appointments, bring you meals, things like that. But it's uh, you know, I there was one thing I did a post on Facebook about, you know, something, and and somebody responded, and I do not know him at all. I mean, he just responded to my post and he said, I have never felt so alone in my life. And it broke your heart. I mean, it just, you know, and but the amazing thing was all of a sudden there were other people who did not know him either. They we were just all connected on Facebook who said, What can we do to help you? You know, and they might not have been even on the same continent. Who knew? But, you know, there were people that didn't

Finding A Tribe When You Feel Alone

SPEAKER_03

even know him who said, What can I do? Um, you know, and hospitals and doctors' offices, they have support groups. You know, if you are a member of a church, there's usually, you know, help there. And and so, you know, we we might want to isolate ourselves, and sometimes we do that, right? We just we don't want to deal with anybody. But there are people out there who will help if you give them the opportunity.

SPEAKER_00

That is so heartening to hear. And I think that's one of the upsides of using social media, really, is which was its original intention that was to connect people, to create communities online. And sometimes it's it's actual complete strangers that reach out and show that kind of compassion and empathy.

SPEAKER_03

You know, I lost friends, it was it was kind of bizarre. People who I'd been friends with 20 years dropped off the face of the earth. Don't know why. I don't know if it kind of reminded them of their own mortality, they didn't want to hear about it. I mean, you know, whatever it was. And some people who I didn't even think knew I existed have been some of my biggest supporters. Um, and I think that's been, you know, one of the things that has just astounded me is, you know, the people really, I the I the gifts and the cards. I still have all of the gifts and all of the cards that were sent 10 years ago. I don't know what I'm gonna do with the the cards. Um, but yeah, like I had two different people who had prayer shawls made for me. And I I was like, and you are I mean, you know, but uh it was just you know, and and other things like that. Again, it was it it was just amazing how people want to help.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yes, what a blessing to be part of that kind of a community of you know, of support at a time when you need it most. And I think we can do that for each other, right than we realize. How has your experience changed you, changed the way you look at life?

SPEAKER_03

I have reprioritized things. Um, you know, one of the because I know that, you know, my expiration date has probably changed. Yeah, maybe not. I mean, I had several family members who live to be 99. Um, and so you don't know what's what's gonna happen. But we I don't I don't have a bucket list anymore. If we want to do something, we do it. You know, might take a while of saving or whatever, but we're gonna go and we're gonna do it. My husband is, you know, he's he's like, okay, you know, he knows, go along, go along. Um, but yeah, you don't, you know, you don't know what's gonna happen. So don't put things off. I've tried to really limit the toxic people, the toxic messaging. You know, I know what's going on in the world, but I don't need to watch 24 hours of news. Um, I don't have to read all of the Facebook posts. I know what's going on. That's all I need to know. And I don't even really need to know the details. Um, you know, other things like prior to really prioritizing myself. You know, usually every day I have to lay down and rest. Now, you know, that was great when we were in kindergarten. And it's great when you're in your 90s. I'm not anywhere near either of those, but I know that I need to rest. And if I don't, I'm gonna have a problem. Um, you know, and and so yeah, it's like, okay. So that project didn't get done. The world didn't stop.

SPEAKER_00

I think that is such an important one to highlight. This podcast is about quiet achievers. And very typically, I speak with my introverted clients, and they're the ones that work the hardest but still think they don't do enough.

Reprioritising Life And Practising Gratitude

SPEAKER_00

They will still be pressurizing themselves to achieve more. Somehow it's not perfect enough. It's gotta be almost to burnout stage. And then they would still be questioning whether they've done enough. So thank you for that reminder to prioritize ourselves first.

SPEAKER_03

Extroverts kind of go, okay, whatever. We go on to the next thing, right? Um, but but yeah, I know, and and I have many friends who are introverts, and I know that it is it's because they're thinking and they're rethinking and they're going through it. And I've gone on to the next five projects, um, you know, and and uh, but but it is, it's it's you know, I tell people, uh if if nobody's going to die, well, it it's okay. Everything can be fixed. Um, you know, maybe the fix is whoops, we're not gonna do that, but you know, it's it's not that big a deal anymore.

SPEAKER_00

It really does change the way you look at life and how you value yourself and value your life.

SPEAKER_03

And value others. I think that's the thing too. Um, you know, say thank you to people, tell them you love them. You know, all of those things that we all think, oh no, we we shouldn't do that. And I'm not talking about the hey man, love ya. It's to say, you know, thank you. I really appreciate it. I love what you, you know, I I I really do love you. Um, you know, and and yeah, that's that's been one of the things that has surprised people because that was not what I would do. I was, you know, um, and so when I tell them that I love them, they're like, whoa. Um, and sometimes they say it back, sometimes they don't. That's okay.

SPEAKER_00

The ones who didn't say it back are probably the what the quiet ones who go away and have to think about it.

SPEAKER_03

Right, right. Um, you know, I'm an only child, and so now I have sisters, right? And so I actually ordered off of Amazon, of course, um, a bunch of bracelets that said um sister by choice. And I gave those to to you know my special friends. That's now I don't know. They might have put them in their jewelry box and never looked at them again. But but yeah, it was it it meant a lot to me, everything that they do and and did.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and I can see that the word grateful, which is on your the wall behind you. Right. I think that's something we need to remind ourselves every day.

SPEAKER_03

Right. You know, and it doesn't have to be I won a Nobel Prize. You know, it can be I woke up, you know. Um, I I had a great day, I didn't have to take a nap, or I did take a nap. Um, you know, there there are so many things we we start looking for the big things because we think, oh, grateful. No. Um, you know, and and I was talking with somebody the other day and and he does a gratitude journal. I I don't do one, but I think it through. And he starts every one with, I am grateful for my family and friends. And he said, that's because sometimes we forget that those are the most important people.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. I don't do the journaling part as well, but sometimes before I go to bed, I would write down, let's say, three or five things that I'm grateful for that day. And I think it's just a wonderful way to acknowledge, to take a moment. It's it's like a sacred pause, you know, because we we tend to think we have to rush around all the time and have to be doing, doing, doing. And then to actually stop and notice actually there's a lot that's going well in life right now that you know sometimes we we do we haven't even earned it. It's like it's just come to us. It's a blessing, like you said at the start. And so it's important, I think, to acknowledge those things. Right.

SPEAKER_03

You know, and and and it's it really should be something that is kind of natural. I mean, you shouldn't be having to think, oh, oh, what am I grateful for? You know, there are things, you know, you have a car, you have a roof over your head, you have a job. I mean, there's so many things that we take for granted that we really need to be grateful for.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, especially now, especially in these interesting times we're living in. I think when we I what I find is that the moment I start noticing or writing down what I'm grateful for, the longer the list gets. Yes. It's like you've set your mind on a quest to look for evidence that you are something to be grateful for, and then you notice all the little things.

SPEAKER_03

Right. And doing it right before you go to sleep is perfect because you're putting your mind into this relaxed, peaceful state as opposed to, oh, eh, oh, ah, right? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

So, what can people do to take care of themselves while they're going through, while they're healing from a health crisis?

Self-Care Through Anger And Grief

SPEAKER_03

Remember that there's nothing wrong with whatever you're feeling. You know, if it's if especially if it's a profound crisis, you're going to grieve. You're going to be angry. I mean, I still get angry. Um, you know, I it some of it is stupid things, right? Or, you know, silly things, I should say. My clothes obviously fit different now. Um, you know, things like that. And and it's perfectly natural, it's perfectly normal to do that and to have the pity parties too, right? But we are grieving. We're gonna grieve the life that we lost, even if we get a clean bill of health, which the vast majority of people do, you're still thinking, ooh, what if? Because you keep having to have those checkups, you know, and all of those things. And so give yourself the grace to feel those feelings. And sometimes you might need additional help, you know, and I tell people the strongest thing you can do is to reach out and ask for help. Whether it's, you know, maybe it's faith-based, so you're gonna talk to a minister or a priest, maybe you're gonna talk to a counselor, whoever. It that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. Um, you know, and and and you know, take take walks, take deep breaths. Remember that life really is, you know, it's it's gonna be okay no matter what's, you know, how long it's gonna last.

SPEAKER_00

Amazing words of advice. My final question to you. This podcast is called the Quiet Warrior Podcast. When you hear those words, what comes to mind for you?

SPEAKER_03

Well, I am a warrior. It actually says it on my arm. It has been tattooed there, much to my mother's dismay. Um, but right as when I was very first diagnosed, somebody sent me um a thing and it said, you know, fate says to the warrior, you cannot withstand the storm. And the warrior responds, I am the storm. But I think the thing that we need to remember is warriors never stand alone. We always have to have a tribe with us. Um, you know, and and that the the quiet is, yeah, we're gonna rant, we're gonna rave, we're gonna yell. That's okay. But the quiet is maybe what's going

Quiet Warrior Mindset And Closing CTA

SPEAKER_03

on in your soul. You know, you're kind of taking that deep breath and you know, thinking, okay, I can do this. I I can get through this. I am strong enough to get through this. Um, but yeah, get your team around you, whoever they are, friends, medical, who, you know, the whatever. You know, you have that tribe around you.

SPEAKER_00

I think that is probably one of the most major takeaways I've had from our conversation today, that we are not meant to do life alone and to go through hard times alone. We are meant to be supporting each other, meant to be a community, a network. So even if we think we are alone, we are we're probably less alone than we are. Maybe it's because we haven't let people know, we haven't asked for help, or perhaps we made assumptions of certain people that they might not want to know about this or not want to get involved. But we really don't know. And blessings do come from unlikely quarters. So that is a that's always very reassuring to know that there are kind people out there, there are compassionate people, even strangers, you know, people we just met on the internet, but we have formed that kind of a connection. So I think what I've learned is the importance of staying optimistic and exercising self-leadership, I think, because self-advocacy is a form of self-leadership. You're taking responsibility for the current situation, and you're saying, no, this is how I think it should be done. This is what I think is best for me. So I prefer this over that, and I don't want to do that particular option. Right. And having that courage is also part of being the warrior, and having people around you and prioritizing yourself. That's what's come out of today's conversation for me.

SPEAKER_03

Right. And women don't always do that because we're caregivers, right? And I tell people it's the airplane rule. You know, the oxygen mass drops. You put yours on first before you help someone else. We have to help ourselves before we can help anyone else.

SPEAKER_00

Deb, I really appreciate you very much today for coming on the Quiet Warrior podcast, sharing your wisdom, being so open and so transparent about what the journey has been like for you, and reminding leaders, you know, whether you are a solopreneur, whether you work in a team as part of a team, that it's important to have those systems. It's important to let people know what's going on in a clear, transparent, um, open way. And also to reach out and ask for the help that you need.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you again. It has been my honor and delight to be your guest, and you're now part of my tribe. Yay!

SPEAKER_00

Thank you so much, Jeff. If you're a quiet achiever ready to be recognized and promoted without having to perform extraversion, I have just created a new leadership and visibility resource for you. You can download it at Quiet Warrior Academy.com backslash leadership for introverts, and the link will be in the show notes for you. See you on the next episode. High performing introverts with leadership ambition don't lack competence. What many of them lack is a psychologically safe and sustainable pathway to visibility and leadership. If you are successful on paper, but still feel unseen, overextended, or quietly stuck at the same level despite everything you've achieved, the scene executive calibration was designed for you. It helps identify the deeper patterns that may be affecting how you communicate, advocate for yourself, lead, and show up professionally. You'll find the link in the show notes.