The Quiet Warrior Podcast with Serena Low
Are you an introvert who wants to be more and do more, beyond what’s safe, comfortable, and pleasing to others?
Your host is Serena Low, and her life’s purpose is to help quiet achievers become quiet warriors.
As a trauma-informed introvert coach and certified Root-Cause Therapist, Certified Social + Intelligence Coach, and author of the Amazon Bestseller, The Hero Within: Reinvent Your Life One New Chapter at a Time, Serena is passionate about helping introverts and quiet achievers grow into Quiet Warriors by minimising:
- imposter syndrome,
- overthinking,
- perfectionism,
- low self-worth,
- fear of public speaking, and other common introvert challenges.
Tune in every fortnight for practical tips and inspirational stories about how to thrive as an introvert in a noisy and overstimulating world.
The Quiet Warrior Podcast with Serena Low
47. What to do when you feel consciously incompetent
This episode explores the challenges of embarking on something that you have little experience or expertise in.
Talking Points:
- What is conscious incompetence
- My experience with conscious incompetence at school
- Why high achievers struggle to admit that there are things they don’t know and aren’t good at
- My 8 tips for navigating the season of not knowing
For gentle and compassionate support while you grow your competence, reach out to me at info@serenalow.com.au.
Here’s how I can support you further:
- Book a call to find out how to transform from a quiet achiever into a Quiet Warrior in 12 weeks – in authentic, aligned, and sustainable ways
- Need a gift idea? Check out my inspirational book
- Meet fellow introverts and connect with kindred spirits: Quiet Women Circle (women-only) and Introverts Around the World
This episode was edited by Aura House Productions
Hi, I'm Serena Loh. If you're used to hearing that introverts are shy, anxious, antisocial and lack good communication and leadership skills, then this podcast is for you. You're about to fall in love with the calm, introspective and profound person that you are. Discover what's fun, unique and powerful about being an introvert, and how to make the elegant transition from quiet achiever to quiet warrior in your life and work anytime you want, in more ways than you imagined possible. Welcome, welcome to the Quiet Warrior podcast.
Speaker 1:If you've ever played a sport you knew nothing about, or got called upon to say a few words about an unfamiliar topic without prior warning, or started a new venture or new role with zero prior experience, then you know what it is to feel consciously incompetent. But it's obvious to you, and maybe obvious to others, that you don't know what you're doing or saying and you haven't got the experience to back you up. At school, I was consciously incompetent at PE. I was what you call a PE dropout Terrible reflexes, terrible coordination, no stamina. I was that person you didn't want on your team because if you threw a ball at me during a game, I was that person you didn't want on your team because if you threw a ball at me during a game. I would freeze and not know what to do with it. When I took up martial arts lessons at the age of 42, I felt like my PE nightmares had started all over again. While the teens around me effortlessly did rolls and ran circles and did burpees and push-ups, I was trying not to die.
Speaker 1:Starting over in a new area can feel like that, especially if you're used to being a high achiever and your middle name is competence. You hate not knowing the answer. You hate feeling powerless and helpless. You hate making mistakes and making a fool of yourself. Perhaps it brings back childhood memories of being told off for making mistakes. Only callous and irresponsible people make mistakes. You should be more careful. Pay attention to details, get it right the first time. Sound familiar? So what do you do as a high achiever, starting over with zero knowledge and experience? First, let's accept the basic truth. There is no way you can avoid the initial period of conscious incompetence when you know, and everyone knows, what a lousy job you're doing. So here are some tips to tide you over that period.
Speaker 1:Number one learn as much as you can, as quickly as you can, while you can. If you have to start work an hour earlier because you haven't figured out how things work. If you have to put in an hour after work to read up, do it. Number two use this grace period to make more mistakes. It's easy to get stuck in trial mode, waiting until you know every process and how every bit of information fits together. Learning what not to do and why is just as important as knowing what to do. So go ahead, make mistakes. Just make sure you're taking notes for future reference. Number three ask for help. It's the quickest way to get answers. People are always happy to help a newbie and you start to build a bank of useful data faster than if you tried researching everything yourself. And while you're at it, ask for feedback how am I doing? Where am I doing well and not so well? What could I do differently next time?
Speaker 1:Number four expand your tolerance for imperfection. The saying goes, progress is better than perfection. Now, this one took me years to accept without feeling that I was gritting my teeth, but it's true. When you are taking action, you're making progress. If you're staying still because you're waiting to be perfect, you're taking no action at all, and so you're not growing. Tolerance towards yourself ripples over into your relationships with others and how you view others' imperfections. Number five have a sense of humor. Laugh at your own mistakes no-transcript. Number six celebrate your growth when you get it right and when you get it wrong, be kind and generous with yourself. Again, how you treat yourself is how you treat others. Number seven tap into your quiet warrior strengths.
Speaker 1:When I was a child, I was told I was stubborn, and stubborn was not a good thing to be. So whenever I was told I was stubborn, it meant I was doing something wrong. But as an adult, now that I reflect on it, my stubbornness comes in useful. My stubbornness means I don't give up. It means I will hang in there until I start to do better. So, whatever qualities you have in your reserves persistence, courage, strength, resilience, optimism, faith tap into them. Use them to remind yourself of who you are and who you want to be, and start embodying those traits.
Speaker 1:Number eight affirm how you want to be. Eight affirm how you want to be. I love using positive affirmations to describe how I am now as well as to embody how I want to be. So I might say to myself I enjoy learning new things. I'm growing my skills and knowledge every day. I am more than my mistakes, the biggest piece of advice I can give you at this time don't confuse your current skill level with your identity.
Speaker 1:Who you are and what you can do are not the same thing. This is just a phase. It will not always be this awkward and frustrating. Six months from now, you will look back at this time and it will be a distant memory. You would have moved on to your next phase of competence. Six months from now, you will look back at this time and it will be a distant memory. You would have moved on to your next phase of competence and perhaps be in a position to pass on your wisdom to another.
Speaker 1:For now, I wish you well with this new season of not knowing and if you need some gentle and compassionate support, reach out to me at info at serenalowcomau. See you on the next episode. I'm so grateful that you're here today. If you found this content valuable, please share it on your social media channels and subscribe to the show on your favorite listening platform. Together, we can help more introverts thrive. To receive more uplifting content like this, connect with me on Instagram at Serena Lu Quiet, warrior Coach. Thank you for sharing your time and your energy with me See you on the next episode.