The Quiet Warrior Podcast with Serena Low

55. Dancing with the Universe: The Journey of the Barefoot Rocket Scientist with Dr. Melissa Corley-Carter

• Serena Low, Introvert Coach for Quiet Achievers and Quiet Warriors

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Episode Summary: 

In this inspiring episode of The Quiet Warrior Podcast, we are joined by Dr. Melissa Corley-Carter, affectionately known as the Barefoot Dancing Rocket Scientist. Melissa shares her incredible journey from aspiring astronaut to becoming a beacon of inspiration for many. Despite not becoming an astronaut, she has achieved remarkable feats as a rocket scientist, marathon runner on all seven continents, award-winning author, and certified professional coach. She discusses how she integrates the principles of rocket science into helping individuals reclaim their power and ignite their passion for life.

Key Topics Discussed:

  1. Melissa’s Early Aspirations:
    • Inspired by an astronaut visit in the 5th grade.
    • Passion for space, Star Trek, and Star Wars.
    • Pursuit of a PhD in astronautical engineering.

  2. Challenges and Turning Points:
    • Applying to the astronaut program and dealing with disqualification due to eyesight.
    • The impact of this turning point on her personal and professional life.

  3. The Barefoot Dancing Rocket Scientist:
    • Origin of the unique title and its significance.
    • Exploration of barefoot running and its benefits.
    • Connection to nature and the health benefits of grounding.

  4. Dancing with the Universe:
    • The concept of always having a partner in the universe.
    • Understanding and utilizing the cosmic potential within us.
    • Melissa’s personal experiences and insights on this spiritual journey.

  5. Post-2020 Reflections:
    • The impact of the pandemic on social interactions, especially for introverts.
    • Embracing remote connections and the importance of flexibility.

  6. Human Design and Quantum Physics:
    • Introduction to Human Design and its role in understanding one’s energetic blueprint.
    • How Melissa integrates Human Design into her coaching practice to help individuals achieve their highest potential.


Guest Bio: 

Dr. Melissa Corley Carter, The Barefoot Dancing Rocket Scientist, uses basic principles of rocket science to help rockstar humans reclaim their power, own their awesomeness, and take giant leaps of faith. An actual rocket scientist, 7 continents marathoner, astronaut reject, speaker, award-winning author, and certified professional coach, Melissa will inspire you to celebrate the power of who you are and to ignite your passion for the life you live. She is the author and photographer of the award-winning coffee table book, "Running the World: Marathon Memoirs from the Seven Continents," and the companion wisdom card deck, “Running YOUR World.”

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This episode was edited by Aura House Productions

Speaker 1:

Hi, I'm Serena Loh. If you're used to hearing that introverts are shy, anxious, antisocial and lack good communication and leadership skills, then this podcast is for you. You're about to fall in love with the calm, introspective and profound person that you are. Discover what's fun, unique and powerful about being an introvert, and how to make the elegant transition from quiet achiever to quiet warrior in your life and work anytime you want, in more ways than you imagined possible. Welcome.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to another episode of the Quiet Warrior podcast. You may often have heard people say, oh, it's not rocket science. Well, have I got a show for you Today? I actually have an actual rocket scientist on our show. She's Dr Melissa Corley Carter. She's also called the Barefoot Dancing Rocket Scientist and she uses basic principles of rocket science to help rock star humans reclaim their power, own their awesomeness and take giant leaps of faith. Now, melissa is an actual rocket scientist and also a seven continents marathoner, an astronaut reject, a speaker, an award-winning author, a certified professional coach, and she's going to inspire you to celebrate the power of who you are and to ignite your passion for the life you live. Welcome, Melissa. Thank you for joining me on the Acquired Warrior podcast.

Speaker 3:

Thank you so much for having me, Serena. I'm excited to be here. Thank you.

Speaker 2:

So I'm really curious why did you call yourself the barefoot dancing rocket scientist? But before you go into that, tell me about the rocket scientist journey.

Speaker 3:

Well, gosh, that has been quite a journey.

Speaker 3:

It all kind of started because I wanted since the fifth grade I wanted to be an astronaut, and so I decided I wanted an astronaut, came and talked to my class and I was super inspired and I had always loved space and Star Trek and Star Wars and all the things, and so it it just seems like, okay, well, that's what I'll do, and I followed that path and never looked back for 20 years, so so to include getting a PhD in astronautical engineering, so so that was kind of the pinnacle there, and and so just kind of jump into all of it.

Speaker 3:

I did end up in 2012, um, putting in my application to um for the astronaut program, but I had always had bad eyesight, uh, and, and then somewhere along the way I just kind of trusted the universe that you know that eventually they would start allowing corrective eye surgery, and they did so I got LASIK in, I think, 2009. And so, basically, the 2012 class was the first one that I was qualified to apply for and I found out they ended up saying that my eyesight before LASIK was so bad that I was disqualified anyway. So yeah, so that was kind of a big, you know, turning point for me. But anyway, the whole journey of the rocket science is what like led it, was it all kind of got sparked by the desire to be an astronaut. So yeah, it was kind of like the whole story in like 30 seconds.

Speaker 2:

That is a childhood dream that is a little bit different from what most people's might be. So why the barefoot dancing rocket scientist?

Speaker 3:

might be. So why the barefoot dancing rocket scientist? So yeah, so those kind of came a little bit later, I guess. So barefoot came actually. So along the way, when I was doing all the things and, you know, working towards the astronaut thing, I also got into running and did end up running a marathon on all seven continents and during that process I discovered barefoot running and minimalist running. So there was a big, huge I don't know if you've heard of the book Born to Run, but it sparked a huge barefoot running craze and I was one of those that kind of jumped on the bandwagon.

Speaker 3:

For a lot of reasons you know, for the I really appreciate the natural movement of it. There's actually I mean, we could spend an hour talking about, you know all the differences between running in shoes and running barefoot or in minimalist shoes. It actually changes your movement to where it's actually healthier. You're actually landing kind of on the ball or the midfoot of your feet and using your muscles to absorb shock versus your joints. There's all kinds of things that show that actually, the more cushioned your shoes are, the more cushioned shoes have become over the years, the more running injuries have actually increased, and so all our technical shoes are actually causing more injuries than preventing. But in any case I got into that, and not just the form and the running and the health aspect, but another health aspect of just being connected to the earth. We are born to be in connection with the actual earth. There's all kinds of benefits of grounding. The earth is a big electrical conductor and we build up all this charge in our bodies and we don't really have anywhere for it to go. But if you put your bare feet on the earth it goes into the ground, literally the electrical ground of the earth, and there's a lot of health benefits there too. So just the barefooting comes from just kind of returning to nature and being in our natural element. So whether it's literally being in bare feet, which I am as much as possible, or being in my natural element, doing what I am actually naturally good at, the natural aspect is what barefooting means to me.

Speaker 3:

And then dancing came about. So I said my husband actually before he was my husband was the first one to actually put all those terms together a barefoot dancing rocket scientist. So he saw my resume for a class I was applying for and he was like huh, but barefoot dancing rocket scientist. This will be interesting, and I was like huh and so eventually over the years that evolved into kind of my latest identity, as it were, and so the dancing piece came. Because I did actually do a lot of dancing when I've done social dancing over the years, like West Coast Swing and Country Two-Step and different kinds of dance that I really, really loved.

Speaker 3:

But I don't dance as much anymore. I will dance to random, I'll dance around the house like to my favorite songs and things, but the dance now is really I see it as the dance with the universe. You know, like we are all in a dance with the universe every single day, and so for me it's just the dance of life and the dance of creation that I get to partake in every single day. But it did start from like literally partner dancing in our natural path, in our natural way of life, dancing with the universe and and rocket science, you know, exploring the universe inside and all around us.

Speaker 3:

Because the thing about rocket science is that, in fact, in its very essence, rocket science is about going from where you are to where you want to be. It's about acknowledging progress and adjusting course and it's about letting go to lift off and all of those things are what we do in life and so that is kind of my joy to get to take all this technical, you know, equation stuff and distill it down into its essence and be able to use it, you know, in a lay version with anybody. So it's super inspiring to me to kind of bring that, bring all of those pieces together.

Speaker 3:

Wow, I feel like you've already summarized the entire interview in 10 minutes.

Speaker 2:

Too funny. What's really fascinating to me, though, is the way you've linked the physicality of your relationship with nature, your relationship with your body and the way we experience life through our connection to the elements but yours is also the elements in a wider sense, in a cosmic sense, because you've seen it from a very different perspective from most of us, and you mentioned something about the connection, the dance, with the universe. Tell me more about that, because I don't think most people will understand what that means.

Speaker 3:

You know, I feel like it is. It's really like always having a partner. You know, sometimes people feel really alone, right? They're like I don't know how to make these. Even even amongst a lot of people you might feel alone, whether you don't feel understood, or you feel like you have a lot, just so much potential inside you and don't necessarily know how to express it or how to, how to live it.

Speaker 3:

There is always this, this dance partner that you have of the universe and and obviously people call it different things. You know whether it's God, spirit, universe, source, all the words, whatever it is, is this sort of spiritual, you know essence. That you know I also, being a big Star Wars fan, I also call it the force. You know it's the force, and so that's what we're talking about, and so I think it's this kind of energy field that we get to tap into that. Actually, you know, maybe it feels super huge, but it's actually not any bigger than we are, like we are that cosmic force we are. You know Carl Sagan said we are stardust, all of us and so it's kind of like, you know, if you don't necessarily know your next step, ask the question what is my next step? And then tune into the answers.

Speaker 3:

Maybe you hear a song on the radio or see something on a billboard or read it in a book, or it's just the next idea you have. There's kind of constantly an essence or a force or whatever that is there to help. And so I think, for me, the dance with the universe, it just feels like that Ooh, it's. It's like it's like having a resource to go to for help, for inspiration and for literally like the joy of creation, which is kind of what dancing is and what it, what it feels like, and so some of this thing to tap into and experience and to really feel life flowing through, if that makes sense, so, yeah, that's kind of what it means to me. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2:

It does make a lot of sense and I'm thinking also that in the last four years I've heard a lot of people say that they have changed who they are before 2020 and who they are now and the challenges they've been through. And I just spoke with someone today who said she doesn't feel like going out anymore. She just can't be bothered to go and socialize and reconnect and it just feels like such a hassle and she would rather be at home. And she's not the only person and I don't know if this is common across. You know a large section of the population, but definitely I know that with introverts, if they were already comfortable in their own bubble after the lockdowns, a lot of them have become even more firmly entrenched in their bubble and don't really want to come out and connect. So what you were saying about reconnecting, or connecting mindfully, you know, with ourselves, with the universe, with the earth, I think that's so important for our mental health and, you know, our overall well-being.

Speaker 3:

Yes, yes, 100%. And it's interesting what you said about the, you know, 2020 and the pandemic. I actually felt similarly. It's funny because I do identify as an introvert and I have worked with a lot of extroverts. I present as an extrovert at work. People are typically surprised when they find out that I prefer introversion.

Speaker 3:

But 2020 felt a little bit like the extroverts were kind of super stressed. They're like, oh my gosh, I'm locked in my house, I can't go to work. I were kind of super stressed. They're like, oh my gosh, I'm locked in my house, I can't go to work, I can't socialize. The introverts are like this is how we feel all the time, like it's our turn now and so. So I also felt a little bit liberated in some ways by the being able to be more at home and and where, like I before the pandemic, I would never, I would always have kind of championed face-to-face for teaching, for coaching, for all the interactions.

Speaker 3:

And then I learned. First I was like, okay, something is better than nothing, so let's connect on the, you know, over Zoom and the internet and all the things, and then I really discovered how effective it was. And even before the pandemic, actually, some of my high school friends and I. We had been having, uh, some weekly get together. We were reading a book together and meeting on zoom for it. So we were all set when because we had already been doing that, because we're we all live geographically dispersed anyway so so I think that one of the things, one of the benefits that came out of all of that was how globally connected and how much we actually can connect over the internet while being in our comfortable environments.

Speaker 3:

And I know for me that was I've definitely become a homebody, more of a homebody. Over the years I've done, I did all the traveling and the world you know, exploration and all that kind of stuff, and then I felt like I wanted to come home and integrate it all and be in my space, and so I think that in some spaces, that can be something that is judged negatively, but I think that it's also really powerful to see that actually, first of all, there's no right or wrong here. Everybody gets to choose their own way, and so I think you know, if anyone feels the need for permission, let's give everybody permission to work in the way that works best for them, and if you like to be home and working through the internet and being in the space that feels really good and nurturing to you. Totally go for it. That's super, that's totally fine.

Speaker 2:

I agree with you. I think the flexibility has been such a bonus for introverts. Just the idea of I can be at home, I can do my things, I can still be productive, I can still contribute to the team. But then again, right now, I think we're moving back towards more of that face-to-face interaction, aren't we?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think some kind of hybrid, you know some way to use the best of both worlds is maybe where we'll eventually end up.

Speaker 2:

I'm curious to know the parallels between the space journey as an almost astronaut from the perspective of what's it like connection to the outer world. If you were an astronaut, and what is that connection to yourself spiritually? How does this awareness of the universe, this wider world out there beyond all our little concerns, how does that affect you?

Speaker 3:

It's a great question. It's really powerful. I think that one of the things I've learned is how much depth is inside all of us and how much cosmic potential is inside all of us, because I think that one of the big things that came out of the years of processing of this lifelong dream being crushed, what I ended up discovering was that the important question was what did I really want in becoming an astronaut in the first place? And it took me some time to really understand what that was. And going back and thinking about my fifth grade self, who was all inspired by that particular thing, what I realized was that what I actually wanted was the chance to inspire people to greatness the way astronauts had always inspired me, and I think I had always had this sort of intuitive knowing of my spiritual connection with the universe. I didn't necessarily know how to put that in words when I was in fifth grade, you know, but I think when you know, astronaut became an option, I was like, oh well, you know, I had all this space connection going on and that seemed like the tangible solution, right. So it was the spiritual connection with the universe, wanting to inspire people the way astronauts had always inspired me and also, I think, the vision of a unified and harmonious world.

Speaker 3:

Because, you know, one of the things you hear astronauts talk about all the time is when you go up in space and you look down at the earth. You can't see borders, you can't see, you know, lines between countries and it's just one big planet. That's all one, and I think that really spoke to me. And so all of those kind of combined, I have realized that that's what prompted that journey in the first place, but all of those things I get to do every single day, and so it didn't actually take being an astronaut.

Speaker 3:

So I might be getting a field of your question, but the point is that that it's the with that cosmic potential inside all of us.

Speaker 3:

There is truly nothing that is outside of your reach. There might be physical 3D goals that don't work out like doors that get closed in your face, like for me being an astronaut but that door being closed in my face truly opened up my world to so much greater. You know, so much greater potential that I had that I, and then again that I do get to fulfill every day. So I think it's not the physical thing that you can achieve no matter what, but it's what you really want in achieving that thing that you can achieve no matter what. So, getting in touch with what's really behind your goals, knowing your deep, deep, deep why, and knowing that there's a million ways to fulfill that deep, deep why and it's not attached to a job, you know, or a life dream per se, like the physical manifestation of that dream. It's going to come out in a, you know, even more magical way than you could possibly imagine. So I think that's where the infinite potential of the universe that lives inside all of us is.

Speaker 2:

That's what kind of comes out of all of that for me, all of us is is that's what kind of comes out of all of that. For me, I'm getting goosebumps on so many levels just hearing you talk about I can just picture it in my mind. You know the the astronaut filling the screen and turning around and looking back at at earth. And earth is just so tiny, it's in the distance, you know know, everything else is black and starry and just a little blue globe in the distance and that's home. And you're right no borders, peace and harmony, unified, one big family. That's a beautiful utopian vision.

Speaker 2:

And also what you said about the, the 3d goals that we strive for, and looking deeper, looking underneath, for what is that common thread or what is the thing actually? We want that maybe the 3D goal represents, but that goal is just one aspect of it, and the real why can be fulfilled in so many different ways, and maybe each of them are equally compelling and enriching. And so, therefore, it is not a loss when one door is closed because other doors do open.

Speaker 3:

Yes, a thousand percent.

Speaker 2:

Now I read on your website that you help people with human design and you talked about it in relationship also to quantum physics. What is this aspect? Can you explain what human design means to you?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so human design is a system for kind of understanding your energetic blueprint and key decision-making strategies and your highest potential. So there is also a version of it called quantum human design. So human design is a thing that kind of started in the eighties and people you know, there's practitioners and things like that. So the person that I studied with has kind of upgraded the language of traditional human design into quantum human design, and so there there are some. It's basically human design is a synthesis of ancient wisdom and modern science, so it so it's kind of a combination of. It has quantum physics influences, also Eastern and Western astrology and the Hindu chakra system.

Speaker 3:

There's a lot of different modalities that kind of all get mushed together in there, and so it has influences from a lot of those different disciplines and I and and I think for me, I think every modality, whatever you call it is, is really all about questioning it's.

Speaker 3:

It's, it's people trying to figure out what their place in the universe is, and and so you know, I think science and spirituality at the end of the day are the same thing, because they are both just systems trying to explain who we are, why we're here and you know what, what is it we're supposed to be doing here?

Speaker 3:

Being yourself is the answer to that question, I think, but in any case so human design is actually a way to understand yourself and usually when I do it with people it's not necessarily, you know, huge lightning bolts, it's of new awareness. It's usually just confirming what people actually already know about themselves, but maybe thought was somehow wrong or too different from the crowd and they weren't really allowed to be themselves. So it's kind of a big permission slip to really be yourself and to recognize. Oh, that thing that people maybe don't necessarily see as a gift is actually one of my strongest gifts. So where can I actually use it? Who is recognizing my gifts? And let me go work with those people instead of these other naysayers over here. So it's more information and confirmation of what you already know about yourself and permission to really be that and really exercise your strongest gifts.

Speaker 2:

You know, when you say permission slip, it's so interesting I'm thinking of the school system and how we need permission to do so many things that you have to ask. And it becomes entrenched, especially for those introverts who are also high achievers, who are also perfectionists or who got a lot of validation just from being compliant, from being that good student, the good girl, and then it becomes part of your identity almost that you need some kind of permission or validation before you can go do something that's against the norm just outside, that's a little bit risky, not quite what the majority are doing. And then it follows you through life and you make decisions. Instead of listening to yourself, it's more like listening to others and waiting for that permission to come and then making all your decisions after that, just following that path of safety and predictability.

Speaker 2:

And I know this for myself from personal experience that that was how I was for a good 35 years and it's really very entrenched and you need a very strong self-awareness but also the courage, I think, to move away from that and then to give yourself permission instead of waiting. So I realized that with children, for instance, up to a certain age, they know who they are, they have a very strong sense of themselves and you just watch them express themselves fully, with no second thoughts or second guessing. And then at some point they start looking outwards and less self-trust but more trust in others, in authority figures or someone to tell them that they're still on the right path, they are still loved, they're still good enough, they're still accepted, they belong, and all our lives after that? You know we spend so much energy seeking that permission from external sources.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, I think I agree and I think that that is something that hopefully, you know the work we're doing is changing that, because kids do have this really strong sense, and I think that that that is something that hopefully, you know the work we're doing is changing that, because, I do, kids do have this really strong sense and then somehow along the way, it gets knocked out of them, you know, and and. So how do we, how do we actually teach kids to keep that through their whole lives? So we don't necessarily have to go through this permission seeking phase anymore, cause it does. It does get really deeply entrenched and can cause a lot of really self-trust issues. Like you said, we lose trust in ourselves, and so that is one of my biggest passions is helping people regain that.

Speaker 3:

So I kind of joke that people come to me for permission to be who they are and at the beginning of the day before they know that they don't need that from me. I will certainly give it Like, yes, permission, you have my permission. But then they, you know, of course, learn that they don't actually need my permission, they don't need anybody's permission, they just need to give permission to themselves. So it is really this big journey of rediscovering. That's why reclaiming your power is so important to me. It's like reclaiming the power you have over your own destiny, over your own permission, giving over your own risk taking and knowing that you can't really fail, because life is an experiment and you can't fail at an experiment. You can only learn. So it is really that journey of reclaiming your power and building that trust so that you can really take those steps that you're really here to take.

Speaker 2:

I love that word experiment. It reminds me of the science lab at school and how dismal I was in chemistry classes and all the pivoting, and I can't remember what strange chemicals we had to play with. But yes, experiment has a very different flavor. It's not so much like a black and white thing or a live or die thing, or fail and succeed. It's not so extreme, it's an iteration. Right, you're finding out, you're you're just playing, and it's okay if the experiment fails because you are just finding out. You're just following your curiosity. If it doesn't work, you go do a different kind of experiment, you tweak something else and you keep finding out. So scientists and people like scientists must be eternally curious and also extremely resilient to the idea of success and failure. How has that been for your work?

Speaker 3:

Yes, I love that observation. I think it has I have actually developed a pretty high and I will use the word failure tolerance. Again, I don't necessarily I don't really believe in failure, but even as a coach, as an entrepreneur, I have, you know, I feel like I've been throwing a lot of spaghetti into the wall, you know, like let's try this for a little bit and see how that. Maybe that didn't work out quite so well, so let's try this for a little bit and see how that. Maybe that didn't work out quite so well, so let's try this. And so I've actually in some ways I haven't really noticed I've been doing this, but I've had it reflected to me, which is really helpful sometimes, if you know, rather than kind of sitting in your own mind, the own mind, thinking what do I do best.

Speaker 3:

Sometimes it's nice to have a sounding board and have people reflect, and I've had people reflect to me that I will just jump into something and try it when they maybe would be afraid to do that.

Speaker 3:

And so I think somewhere along the way I actually really did learn risk-taking and actually I remember I learned a lot about it at my Air Force ROTC field training when I was in college kind of boot camp and one of the big things I'm like, what do we learn at field training Cadet Corley, to take risks, sir, and so. So anyway, somewhere along the way I did develop, I guess, this risk taking and just leaping into things and and trying them. And I've dealt with also a fair amount of of you know embarrassment and you know cringing and all those kinds of things. But but I think a lot of that has actually been more of the conditioning of the oh no, what will people think? That's still that, you know looking for approval on the outside but recognizing that I am learning something on the inside. So really that willingness to try over and over and over again and try something new if that didn't work, and try something here and not really worry if it doesn't work out, that has just become kind of second nature to me.

Speaker 2:

I really hope people who find it extremely challenging and who find this, you know, personally, one of their big battles, will hear this part of the podcast, because I think that it's so valuable. It's not just good information, it's life-changing information to know that we can give permission to ourselves and that if we make a mistake, it is not the end. It is not that we are dumb or anything like that, or that people are going to laugh at us or criticize us or think poorly of us. A lot of that is actually the expectations we've foisted on ourselves that we have to be a certain way or that people are judging us. Actually, I've realized most people are good people and most people are not even thinking about us in that way. Sometimes we underestimate how gifted or how talented or how good we are at certain things and we think, oh, you know, that's just what I've always done, there's nothing great about it. But to the outsider and the same goes for us looking at other people we overestimate other people and we underestimate ourselves. That's what I'm learning.

Speaker 3:

Yes, I have learned that too, that it does seem we're always hardest on ourselves. You know, if we're really good at something, well, everyone must be good at it. But if, if someone else is really good at something, wow, they're really good at. So if we're bad at something, we're the only one who's bad at it. So it's like this awful, like how do we end up there, you know? But but yeah, so so really giving yourself.

Speaker 3:

That's where that's where actually the owning your awesomeness piece of my work comes in, of recognizing what you do. That really is what is your gifts, and and and the or? What are your gifts and the things that that, that really that you shine in, that you might just assume are normal because they come naturally to you. Because I think the other kind of dysfunctional thing we've been taught is that work has to be hard to be worthwhile. And so if we're not, if we're not slaving away at something or beating our head against the wall or, you know, working 24 hours a day on it and it comes naturally to us, then well, that's just that's. That's just too easy.

Speaker 3:

But there is something in like, like when, this kind of new way of living, when you are in touch with your, your true nature. The thing that comes naturally to you is your path. So there is actually a kind of an energetic sense of following where the energy actually flows, versus where you are beating up against a wall and it gets to be easy. Now, that doesn't mean it's going to be rainbows and unicorns all the time. You have hard days, you have things that aren't as fun as other things, but if you have something that really feels like flow to, you have things that aren't as fun as other things, but if you have something that really feels like flow to you, follow that energy, because that's giving you information about where your gifts lie.

Speaker 2:

So this goes back again to self-awareness being in tune with ourselves, developing that self-trust being connected with our nervous system, or how our body is reacting to certain stimuli, certain triggers, certain events, and just spending time, you know, getting to know ourselves and appreciating and honoring ourselves, and that actually is not something we are taught to do to just sit quietly and be in tune and listen to ourselves. What am you know? What is it that I really want to do? Who do I want to be? What is the impact I want to make in this world? What am I here to do? All those cosmic questions, those ultimate life issues. So I know that you've written a book, melissa, called Running the World Marathon Memoirs from the Seven Continents. Tell us about that. How did you come to be running marathons in seven continents?

Speaker 3:

Yes, so that was a little bit of a fluke, but one of these actually, you know, we're talking about universal kind of connection and guidance and all that kind of thing. It was this. It landed as an absolute, yes, the first time I heard about it. So what happened? Was I when I first went on active duty in the Air Force? I was, you know, I was never super athletic growing up, but I wasn't, you know, I was on the 7th grade track team. That was kind of my one, you know, sports thing. But I started running, obviously being in the Air Force, and one of my friends was a really good athlete and she would take me on long runs. I went on my first eight-mile run with her and then I was telling my mom about my running adventures and she said you know, there's a marathon in Big Sur, which is in California, on the west coast of the US, and we had gone to that area for vacations sometimes when I was growing up and so I loved the area and I was thinking, well, gosh, getting to run on Highway 1 on the side, you know, just on the edge of the ocean, that would be so cool. I getting to run on highway one on the side, you know, just on the edge of the ocean. That would be so cool, I could, I would do run a marathon for that. And so this was September at the time and the marathon was in April. So I was like, well, I could train for a marathon by April. And so I did.

Speaker 3:

And and then at the marathon expo, where they have a little vendors and things, there was a table for a group called the seven continents club of people who ran marathons on all seven continents. So I was like, oh, sign me up for that. You know, I, I was it just once, the once the idea was there, I just I was like, why would I not do that? Um, so it just, it was felt like a like an absolute yes from from really the minute I heard about it. So before I had even started the first marathon, I had decided I was going to run one on all the seven continents and so I did. So that's, that was so anyway. And then the book incidentally didn't didn't happen until much later. So I also happen to love photography. So I took lots of pictures on my trips and made little online photo albums and always got really good feedback like, hey, you have a great photographic eye, and one of my friends actually said you know, if that whole science thing doesn't work out, at least you know you have a backup plan, which, as I look back now, I'm like, oh yeah, if I had listened to that like 10 years earlier, but anyway.

Speaker 3:

So then later, fast forward to 2019 timeframe, because I finished the marathons in 2012. And in 2019, I was trying to write a book. I was, I wanted to write a book about leadership and I was struggling because I felt like everyone and their dog has written a book about leadership. What am I going to say? That is any different. And so I was kind of in an existential crisis about it, like, what is my purpose? What am I doing here? And that's where asking a question.

Speaker 3:

I literally was like asking that question and maybe within half an hour, this idea landed of coffee table book. Maybe within half an hour, this idea landed of coffee table book because I have all my pictures and I have all my stories. And I was like, oh, of course. And so I went through the book writing journey and in the end, it really ended up being a book about leadership, because I think really all leadership starts with leadership of the self and self-awareness and knowing yourself and I and I. So as I worked on it, I really internalized, like recognized, all the life lessons I learned from, from the different continents and so so it's not just about the continents themselves, it's also the life lessons I learned, and and then also the underlying journey is the whole recovering from the astronaut dream shattering process. So all of that is kind of wrapped in there with some you know, if I do say so myself really cool pictures of, of traveling around the world.

Speaker 2:

That is so awesome and I understand you have got the Companion Wisdom Card deck as well.

Speaker 3:

Yes, yeah. So as during the publication process I had also my sister was a really big fan of Wisdom Card decks and Oracle decks and she had given me one that a horse themed, one which I really loved, and and I was thinking about it and I was like, oh, cause I had started to think that I would make some kind of I'd like a dance with the universe deck, like that was going to be my, my deck. And then again I kind of remembered, oh wait, what do I already have? I already have photos from the continents and I already have these, the beginnings of what each photo kind of thematically meant to me. And so so again it was kind of like hello, look at what's, look at what's already flowing in your system.

Speaker 3:

And, and so I picked 56 of the photos that that you know, stood out, basically eight from each continent, and gave them theme names and and wrote messages. So then, over basically like 13 months, I wrote one a week and um, and then they just came out in actual deck form last summer. So super excited to have those two to be that, that companion. So it takes it a little deeper into the wisdom and is, uh, it's called running your world, right?

Speaker 2:

so I love that title. Yes, that title is so cool Running your World. And for those who are runners out there, or those who are athletes, or if you have a friend or a family member who loves running, do look out for the links in the show notes to Melissa's book, as well as her wisdom card deck. Now, as our audience are mostly introverts, what is one thing you would like to say to the quiet ones who've got big dreams and hidden ambitions but have not yet found a way to give themselves permission to follow them?

Speaker 3:

I would say, keep putting one foot in front of the other. That's one of the big things I learned from running, which is when you, when you, when something feels overwhelming or you're not sure how to get started on it or how to complete it, just take one step, because these big dreams that you have inside are there. That one of the things I've learned is, actually, you wouldn't have your dreams and goals if you didn't have the resources to achieve them. So again, like we mentioned before, that doesn't necessarily mean the 3D manifestation of it will look exactly the way you want it to look, but that deepest why is fulfillable. If you're dreaming it, you really and truly can achieve it.

Speaker 3:

But sometimes we stop ourselves because it's too overwhelming and you think you have to know every step before you get started. You absolutely do not. So literally just take the first step and if you don't know what it is, ask the universe again what is my first step, what is the smallest possible step you could take? And then what's an even smaller step you could take first. So break it down to be as small as possible, small enough you'll actually do it and then see what else opens up, because you don't know. You can't know before you get started what all the steps are going to be, because each step you take is going to create new possible steps. So trust that you have it within you. You have all the resources you need. You don't need anyone's permission, but your own. Just take that step and follow where it leads.

Speaker 2:

I love that, because a lot of us get so in our heads when it comes to figuring out everything and we need almost like a linear roadmap to tell us step one, step two, step three, so that we can follow. And what you're saying is, in a sense, it's wide open, but it's also doable Because you can ask the question. That scales it down to an achievable level, which is the most important thing, because it has to start with the first step. It has to start with action, and action means I trust myself, I trust life, that it's happening for me and that things are moving for me, doors are opening for me, people are supporting me, and that takes an enormous amount of trust. But it's only when you activate that trust and take action and move out in faith that's when things start to happen. Things start to move.

Speaker 3:

Yes, yes, and that big leap of faith, the giant leap of faith, as it were, is about knowing that you, that you can achieve it, and that whatever it is is going to be so much more magical than you can possibly imagine right now, because your vision right now is, in fact, limited. You don't know what's possible, so don't limit yourself to step one, step two, step three. Take step point.5 and see what you know. Next step becomes available. It really is a huge leap of faith in yourself.

Speaker 2:

And that is very encouraging for not just introverts, but, I think, anyone who has a tendency to overthink it, to get too perfectionist about it, or maybe has been conditioned to doing things a certain way and so you know, it just feels very experimental, very risky to not have a plan and, almost, like you are, you're taking a risk, you're finding out.

Speaker 2:

But another way of looking at it is that you're getting curious, you're allowing the magic of life to take you along for a ride and believing that you will flow with it. So you also talked about tuning in to the energy, feeling the flow, and I think that's another one that's magical and that's very powerful. And if we allow ourselves to combine that with the trust, then it's easier to let go, it's easier to not have those barriers all the time that we think are protecting us from hardship or from discomfort or from inconvenience or from risk, because we think we'll lose something from inconvenience or from risk, because we think we'll lose something. But when you let go of that that wall around yourself and you just open yourself up, then you become I feel like it, almost like you become one with the force yes, yes, there.

Speaker 3:

There is also, I think, another aspect of you know, like letting go of other people's expectations along with because it is hard for other people to understand this perspective.

Speaker 3:

Sometimes they, you know, one of the reasons we want to have all the steps planned out is because we're going to do this thing and they're like, well, how is that going to work out? And oh no, you need to be responsible. You know the quote, unquote, responsible word, right, and that can be really scary because the people around us don't understand how it will work out and, entirely with good intentions, right, they want to be helpful and so they're questioning your dreams, but they don't understand necessarily how hurtful and how much that can hold us back if we let it. So this also requires a big leap of faith in yourself to be resilient in the face of those who, would, you know, naysay or, you know, put a knock on your dreams. So this is where you really really trust yourself and the vision and the universe to be your partner and say you know what I've got it, you know. Thanks for your thoughts, thanks for your concern. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2:

I know it comes from a good place and I'm good, thank you training and starting to feel the power of the force for the first time, and learning how to control it, learning how to surrender to it, but at the same time, also when they give in to their own fears or their own dark thoughts, that turns the force in a different direction. And so what is the dark side to you?

Speaker 3:

And so what is the dark side to you? So it's interesting. Something I have learned more recently is that in some ways, I think now this is going to go down a different path of actually nervous system regulation, because something else that I have been really starting to learn about I love the work of Irene Lyon, a nervous system expert. She's compiled lots of resources and data and practices and just really amazing resource. So check out irenelyoncom everybody.

Speaker 3:

So I feel like, in some ways, this concept of the dark side of the force has dysfunctionally conditioned us. So anger, fear, aggression, the dark side, or they. We're kind of taught to be the good girl. You can't express anger, you can't, you know, you can't do, you can't be aggressive and and all these things that we're so we're taught to stuff our feelings inside and that we can't have quote unquote negative feelings. Well, the feelings aren't actually negative or positive, they just are and they're giving us valuable information.

Speaker 3:

So so one of the things that I've learned is that for your nervous system to be truly regulated, you have to let it actually process literal survival, stress, and so a lot of people end up with chronic illness because they haven't been able to process their fight, flight, freeze instincts from early childhood. And so even if you had amazing parents and early childhood, you know, and so even if you had like an amazing, you know, amazing parents and amazing childhood, there's still probably instances where we were taught that we had to be quiet or we couldn't, you know, yell or run around and scream and like, do all these things that, again, are very natural as animals. We have these instincts and something makes us mad and we want to, you know, and and, and we're taught that we can't do that and that actually creates a lot of internal harm. So so this idea that anger, fear and aggression will lead us down this dark path is, is actually, it will actually lead us to the path of wholeness If you learn how to express it in a healthy way, right, that doesn't mean go out and bash people on the head. You's not allowed, right. But where can you have a surrogate action to let that out of your physical system?

Speaker 3:

One of the methods I've heard is like wringing a kitchen towel, like you're wringing someone's neck, to literally get the instantaneous frustration of animalhood, to let your body get that out of its system so it's not stuck and stored inside creating chronic disease. So anyway, that was a little bit of a tangent, but I think the dark side is a part of who we are, and accepting that, becoming aware of it, accepting it and finding healthy outlets for it that we just incorporate into our daily lives is the way that we actually become whole. So light and dark are a balance, and it's not good and evil, black and white, good and bad. It's how do we incorporate all sides of the force into us in a really healthy and functional way?

Speaker 2:

I'm curious to see, if you had a chance to write a script for Star Wars, what that would look like.

Speaker 3:

Ooh, you know that's a wow. I've never thought about that, but I love that question and I think it would look kind of like what we just talked about. I would love for it to look like like um, you know the the dark side and the light side get together and and learn how to work together so that there is no actual evil. You know, um, it's not just you know Darth Vader becoming good at the last minute, or you know someone becoming evil and like that's the end of their path forever. It's like how do we actually come together and live?

Speaker 2:

in harmony with the universe all together.

Speaker 3:

I love that idea.

Speaker 2:

So there'll be no more Death star. Right, right, exactly. So, melissa, gang star, yeah, oh, I love the sound of that. So, melissa, how do people find you? What's the best way to get in touch?

Speaker 3:

so the best way to get in touch is, uh, so my website, epic life actually dot com, is, uh, probably the best place to find kind of all the things that I'm up to. So, yeah, you can contact me there. Or also I'm on Instagram, facebook and LinkedIn. Instagram is my favorite of the social media platforms and I'm at Melissa Corley Carter, so you can find me there. I actually do a weekly wisdom card draw from the wisdom card deck, and so that's something that's posted on all the platforms. But, yeah, certainly epiclifeactuallycom is a good place to get in touch.

Speaker 2:

Fantastic. Well, make sure to post all the links in the show notes so that people who are listening can get in touch with you and find out more about the barefoot dancing rocket scientist. So thank you so much, Melissa, for joining me today on the Quiet Warrior podcast. It's been delightful.

Speaker 3:

Thank you, serena, it's been lots of fun.

Speaker 2:

It's been delightful.

Speaker 3:

Thank you, serena, it's been lots of fun. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, and that was another episode of the Quiet Warrior podcast. If you have enjoyed today's content, make sure to follow Melissa on her links. And also, if you enjoyed this episode, do give us a like and subscribe and a rating and review on the podcast platform that you are listening from. See you on the next episode. I'm so grateful that you're here today. If you found this content valuable, please share it on your social media channels and subscribe to the show on your favorite listening platform. Together, we can help more introverts thrive To receive more uplifting content like this. Connect with me on Instagram at Serena Lo Quiet Warrior Coach. Thank you for sharing your time and your connect with me on Instagram at Serena Lo Quiet Warrior Coach. Thank you for sharing your time and your energy with me. See you on the next episode.