The Quiet Warrior Podcast with Serena Low

57. The Magic of Asking for Help

• Serena Low, Introvert Coach for Quiet Achievers and Quiet Warriors

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In this episode, I dive into the struggles that many introverts face when it comes to asking for help. Drawing from my own experiences as a former lawyer and now a coach and midlife mentor, I explore why asking for assistance can often feel like a sign of weakness, and how overcoming this mindset can be transformative—especially for introverts in business and leadership roles.

Key Points:

  1. The stigma of asking for help
  2. Working for others vs. working for yourself
  3. The importance of outsourcing and delegation
  4. Reframing the role of a business owner
  5. Developing a “CEO mentality”

Key Takeaways:

  • Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a strategic move to strengthen your business or career.
  • Introverts can thrive by leveraging their strengths and outsourcing tasks that don't align with their core skills.
  • Viewing yourself as a CEO can help you make better decisions about delegation and collaboration.

Next Steps:

  • If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate and review the show. Your support helps The Quiet Warrior Podcast reach more introverts and quiet achievers around the world.
  • To receive weekly tips on how to be a visible introvert, join my mailing list at serenalow.com.au.


Upcoming Workshop:

  • If you are an introverted professional or business owner who wants to be more visible, but something is holding you back from putting yourself out there, I am hosting a FREE Online Training on Thursday 5 September 7-8pm AEST (Melbourne) in partnership with Wyndham Learning Festival:

    BOOST YOUR WORK VISIBILITY: 3 ESSENTIAL TIPS FOR INTROVERTS AND QUIET ACHIEVERS.


Register at the link below, and a Zoom invite will be emailed to you before the workshop. https://www.wynlearnfestival.org.au/event/grow-your-visability-at-work/


This episode was edited by Aura House Productions

Speaker 1:

Hi, I'm Serena Loh. If you're used to hearing that introverts are shy, anxious, antisocial and lack good communication and leadership skills, then this podcast is for you. You're about to fall in love with the calm, introspective and profound person that you are. Discover what's fun, unique and powerful about being an introvert, and how to make the elegant transition from quiet achiever to quiet warrior in your life and work anytime you want, in more ways than you imagined possible. Welcome, welcome to another episode of the Quiet Warrior podcast.

Speaker 1:

Today I want to talk about asking for help. A lot of introverts I've spoken with have admitted that asking for help is one of the greatest challenges for them, and I'm curious to explore why this is so. I know that for myself, growing up, asking for help was a sign of weakness. It was a sign of not trying hard enough. It meant that I was disturbing other people, inconveniencing them, using up their valuable time, and it meant that I wasn't using my brain, for instance, to solve my own problems, and I took this thinking into adulthood with me, to the extreme. So even when I was at work in those years as a lawyer and a civil servant, I found it so hard to say I don't know. Could you point the way, could you teach me, could you show me where to find this information? Because it seemed to me that because I was a lawyer, I was expected to know everything. I was expected to be smarter than everyone else, and if I couldn't figure out things for myself, you know what right did I have to give instructions to other people or to ask my team to do things? I felt that I needed to be on top of everything. I needed to be super competent, needed to be on top of everything. I needed to be super competent, I needed to have all the answers. And that flawed thinking continued all through my career and even after I had left the law and gone on the road, less traveled, and started my own coaching practice.

Speaker 1:

I didn't see myself for many years as a business owner. I saw myself as a self-employed person, but not in a CEO sense of being a business owner. I saw myself wearing all the hats and it was a very uncomfortable feeling. In the past, when I was an employee, I was only responsible for my tiny role and the responsibilities that went with it. I knew that there was a finance department, I knew there was a HR department, I knew there was an admin department, and each department and unit had their own roles and responsibilities, and so we didn't have to step outside, and it wasn't right, for instance, to take on somebody's work or to venture into their territory. It was very clearly demarcated who was doing what, but when it came to my own business, I was wearing all the hats, but at the same time I was forgetting that I was also the CEO of my own business, and I soon realized very, very quickly that I was not adequate to the task.

Speaker 1:

While I was good with certain aspects, like writing and communicating, I didn't have the skill set to market myself, promote myself, to close the deal, to sell or even to persuade people to consider working with me. And this was not just a mindset issue, it was a skills gap, and so the best that I could think to do was, of course, to go looking for the knowledge, and so I read the books, I went to the courses, I signed up all sorts of programs, hired different coaches, enrolled in different programs through the years, and invested a huge amount of money to improve myself and to learn these skills. And I don't regret learning these skills. Even though a lot of them were way outside my genius zone, I still learned valuable information that at least now I know what I'm talking about and I know what email integration is, and I know how to build a website and I know how to blog, and I know how to embed a YouTube video or an audio player on my website, and I know how to start a podcast, how to write show notes. These are all the things that come from years of trial and error.

Speaker 1:

But the problem I still had was that I had trouble asking for help. So, again, I was looking for solutions, implementing those solutions the best I could, sometimes in a very haphazard way, but not seeing myself as the CEO who ought to ask for help when it was appropriate to do so. And so it's only been lately when I had a sudden light bulb moment and realized wait a minute, I don't have to do everything myself. It's okay to say I don't know how to do this thing. It's okay to say I need help to look for someone who specializes in that area and pay them to help me. And pay them to help me, because for me it was one thing to hire a coach. It was another thing to say outsource and hire somebody off Fiverr to help me with a particular project or particular task. And the first time I did it I was so nervous because I didn't know what was expected of or what I was expecting of them or how we would communicate.

Speaker 1:

And then I realized that wait, a second years ago, when I was a head of department, I was having those sorts of conversations every day, asking my team members to do things, setting out what tasks were expected, what the expectations were, what were the deadlines, and creating a clear channel of communication so that they could come and raise any questions and concerns before they blew up. And so I already had that skill set, but I had forgotten. Just because it was a different context, I was no longer in a corporate setting. And so once I reclaimed that, once I reconnected with that part of me, that part of my past work history, and had that very first video conference with my new virtual assistant, simply to work on a very tiny project, that feeling awoke in me, that sense of empowerment. It was a familiar feeling and suddenly it felt really good.

Speaker 1:

I really saw myself, in those few weeks of getting that project executed, as the CEO of my own business. And my thought to myself was why haven't I done this earlier. Why has it taken me so long to ask for help? And so now I'm starting to think wider and bigger. To what else can I hire specifically for in order to help me get to market more quickly? I still want to learn how to do the back end myself. I still want to be on top of things. I still want to be that super competent, all-rounder kind of CEO who knows exactly what they're outsourcing and who can set reasonable expectations and milestones and ask for the right deliverables. But I also realise that when it comes to the actual execution of a specific kind of task that is outside my genius zone, I don't have to feel apologetic or guilty or less than for asking someone else to do it and paying them appropriately. They are simply part of the team. I can't do this alone. It takes a team to create a successful business that is sustainable for me.

Speaker 1:

And it's only now, after 13 years, that this realization has hit me. And you might think well, you sure took a long time realizing something that seems so obvious, but to me it wasn't obvious. To me, I felt the weight of meeting my own expectations, and perhaps weight of meeting my own expectations and perhaps still thinking, you know, like a child, having that feeling of I need to do it myself, I shouldn't trouble other people, I shouldn't be taking other people's valuable time. I should be solving my own problems. I shouldn't be spending this money asking for help. I should be looking for my own solutions.

Speaker 1:

And so if this is you, if this is where you are currently, I want to encourage you to look at it as you being the CEO of your own life, of your own business, and that, as a CEO, you make executive strategic decisions strategic decisions. You don't always have to be the person that implements every last detail, but you certainly need to have that good overall view of what is happening and who needs to be doing what and when it needs to be done by, and what outcomes you're expecting in that very high-level view kind of way, and how that fits into your overall strategy. So your role is the strategic, but somebody else's role could be the specific, the administrative, the bit that helps you further your strategic objectives, and together, each of you using your respective talents and skills and strengths, will then contribute to creating that sustainable, flourishing business. I hope that makes sense for you and I hope that encourages you to think differently about this whole idea of asking for help. There is nothing wrong with saying I don't know. I don't have this expertise or this knowledge. I do have some idea, but I don't really know how the dots connect. I do have some idea, but I don't really know how the dots connect, and I need someone who does.

Speaker 1:

And when we're very clear about what is it we don't know and what is it we need help with, that help comes. That help will then drop into our world, and it can be through someone reaching out to you. It can be through someone responding to your post. It can be through someone messaging and saying that they noticed your profile and that you might need help with something that they are an expert in, and so we are all experts in something in our lives. What is your expertise and what is an area where you could outsource, delegate or invite collaboration or simply hire someone to help you so that you can further and strengthen your expertise and they can grow theirs too? I hope this has been helpful for you.

Speaker 1:

If you enjoyed this episode, take 30 seconds to write a review and rate the show, so that the Quiet Warrior podcast can reach more introverts and quiet achievers around the world. Have a great day and I'll see you on the next episode. I'm so grateful that you're here today. If you found this content valuable, please share it on your social media channels and subscribe to the show on your favorite listening platform. Together, we can help more introverts thrive. To receive more uplifting content like this, connect with me on Instagram at Serena Lo Quiet Warrior Coach. Thank you for sharing your time and your energy with me. See you on the next episode.