The Quiet Warrior Podcast with Serena Low

64. Embracing Introversion and the Healing Power of Music with Birgit Livesey

• Serena Low, Introvert Coach for Quiet Achievers and Quiet Warriors

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Key Topics Explored:

  • Birgit’s journey of discovering her introversion and learning to embrace it
  • The layers of introversion and how it manifests differently for each person
  • Understanding energy management as an introvert
  • The concept of "music mindfulness" and its impact on emotional well-being
  • How music has supported Birgit’s personal and professional growth
  • Living on the "B side" of life: finding hidden strengths and unexpected treasures
  • How music can be used to help with stress relief, productivity, and emotional balance
  • The importance of gradually stepping into the spotlight as an introvert

Memorable Quotes:

  • "Introversion is all about energy—how quickly we are depleted and how we recharge."
  • "Music is like my red line, my best friend. It helps me process my emotions and find balance."
  • "Introverts have hidden strengths, like the B side of a record—full of surprises waiting to be discovered."

Guest Bio:

Birgit Livesey is a mindfulness guide and host of the podcast Living on the B Side, where she combines her love of music with her passion for helping introverts find harmony in their lives. Through music mindfulness, Birgit teaches others how to use music intentionally to enhance emotional and mental well-being, manage stress, and boost productivity. She believes that by tuning into the power of music, we can create more balance and joy in our daily lives.

Connect with Birgit Livesey:

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This episode was edited by Aura House Productions

Speaker 1:

Hi, I'm Serena Loh. If you're used to hearing that introverts are shy, anxious, antisocial and lack good communication and leadership skills, then this podcast is for you. You're about to fall in love with the calm, introspective and profound person that you are. Discover what's fun, unique and powerful about being an introvert, and how to make the elegant transition from quiet achiever to quiet warrior in your life and work anytime you want, in more ways than you imagined possible Welcome. Welcome to another episode of the Quiet Warrior podcast. Today I have got Birgit Liversyy. She's a mindfulness guide and podcast host at Living on the B-Side and we met on LinkedIn. Welcome, birgit.

Speaker 2:

Oh, hello Serena. I'm very excited for today.

Speaker 1:

So, birgit, I want to ask first about your story and background. How did you especially come to know that you're an introvert? When did you discover that?

Speaker 2:

Oh, we've got to rewind to my teenage years, which sort of sets the scene for the discovery of being an introvert. I always kind of knew there was something wrong in quotes obviously with me, because I didn't quite fit in with the expectations of society and how people treated me and how I walked through the world. And that became especially clear when my parents divorced when I was 12. And that opened up a whole nother can of worms with how I got treated and it made me pull back even more into myself and I've always liked being alone, so I didn't have a problem with that. But yeah, that's sort of where this whole thinking came in, like what's wrong with me? Why don't I have that many friends? Why do people treat me differently? Why can't I be like others who are just on the go and have this energy all the time?

Speaker 2:

And I just could not figure that out for a very, very long time, Probably until let me backtrack here I think it might be five or six years now. So most of my life really, I've walked through it not knowing what's going on. And about five or six years ago I've heard the term introvert for the first time and after doing a little bit more research and meeting one particular person who was having a space basically for women in business who are introverts. That's when it all clicked for me. Everything that she was talking about, everything that she was sharing and the other ladies were sharing, it was like my mind was blown and I'm like, okay, I'm home, I know now who I am, why I'm the way I am, and then discovering how I tick as well. So that's kind of, in a nutshell, the background of, yeah, how I came to that point and then discovering how I find out I'm an introvert.

Speaker 1:

I love your story. I can resonate with every single part of that the idea of feeling like you are the odd one out or there's something wrong with me the way I am.

Speaker 2:

And then, when the relief, the sheer relief of finding your people, finding my tribe, finding people that, oh, they're just like me, there's nothing wrong with me, there's other people like me and it's okay and we're just different, oh, that was, yeah, it's hard to put into words and, in a way, after that first aha moment is also a gradual journey of peeling back the layers and finding out more and more about what type of introvert I am and you know how others are. Like. I mean, that was just so, yeah, incredible and mind-blowing to see the different layers of introverts as well. So it's you go like in a rabbit hole, almost finding out you know how do I tick and how can I show up in the world without feeling weird and out of place and exhausted and everything that comes with being an introvert, obviously, so, yeah, when you talk about layers of introversion and types of introversion, could you explain a little bit more for those of our listeners who may not understand that there are different kinds of introverts?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I'm still learning a lot about that to this day. I mean, you never stop learning anyway. But the best thing I can probably describe it is when I was in the circle of women and we all were talking about our struggles and how we perceive the world and how it exhausts us. That's the first thing I noticed was energy.

Speaker 2:

The energy and how much we can put out and how much we can take is so different for for so many introverts and I always say that I'm probably not a very intense or extreme introvert, I can probably come across as an extrovert and but I do need my recharge type for me, the energy is the core thing. I need to be very, very aware of that. And I think for others you have different variations of the whole energy piece. Where some people they can only maybe, as an example, go out for five minutes and then they're exhausted and it's like no, I can't deal with people anymore not that I don't want to, but it's just exhausting me where other people can go for a whole day and then any two days off. So for me, when I talk about introversion, it's about energy and how quickly we are depleted of that and how we recharge. I think that's probably the easiest way I explain to someone what introversion is and the different layers of it.

Speaker 1:

I think I agree with you. That's also the definition that I borrow from Susan Cain, because I find that most people understand exactly what that means, and I think Simon Sinek has also explained it in another way when he talked about the introvert starting off the day with five coins, and every time you have an interaction with another human you lose one coin, and so by the end of the day you've used up all your five coins and that's why you're exhausted, whereas the extrovert gains coins as they go the more people they talk to.

Speaker 2:

Yes, that's a very good way of putting it. Or you can probably think about it as a mobile phone battery. You know, you charge it up overnight and then you go about your day and the battery drains, and that's probably a similar way of explaining it too.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I like that one too. That's very powerful, very relatable. Yeah, so on your LinkedIn profile, you call yourself a music mindfulness guide and you talk about living on the B side. Tell me more about this music mindfulness. What does that mean?

Speaker 2:

This has come after all the work that I did myself, after all the discovery work and realising how important and crucial music is in my own life and how it is helping me with, especially, my emotional wellbeing. So I'm really passionate about using music to help with your emotional wellbeing, obviously, and how to become aware of the great power music holds in our daily life. A lot of people probably just use it as background music or when they go to the gym or there's certain settings we use music. But music mindfulness literally, is that Become more mindful about the music you're listening to and how you consume it, because that can have an impact on you and your emotions and also your mental well-being, and I'm really passionate about that.

Speaker 2:

I think there's so not talked about enough. Um in the greater world. So yeah, and living on the b-s-side basically it's a play on music, like the B-side of a vinyl showing my age here, and it also means how I used to live. I lived on the B-side of life and B is like a nickname for myself, birgit, so I just think it fits perfectly for who I am, what I want to do and hope to, you know, achieve in my life.

Speaker 1:

I like that. I like also that B may consider, may contain the hidden surprises, because everybody focuses on the A side the one. You know, that's the one we gravitate to, to, that's the one that maybe could be a chart topper, but sometimes it's the b-side that contains something that might surprise you and you might really like it yes, and I think for an introvert that's actually also a very good description, because as introverts we can be surprise books.

Speaker 2:

you know there's a lot of hidden things that people don't see, but they're positive and exciting and amazing and you know people should probably pay a bit more attention to that.

Speaker 1:

So, as an introvert living on the B side of life, how has music helped you to survive and thrive?

Speaker 2:

Oh, we're going back to when I was 12, because that's kind of sort of a real milestone or important part of my growing up and digging into all of this. But ever since I remember music has just been there. Thankfully, my mom has encouraged me a lot over the years. She, you know, got me to do like music classes and I got into dancing. I had vocal training, so I did a lot of extra work in music. But just away from that I've always just loved music. The radio was always on, my hi-fi was always on, I had a walkman constantly in my ear, so it's always there.

Speaker 2:

And over time, over time, subconsciously, I started using that to help me digest what I was feeling, the situations I was going through, and maybe even helped me make certain decisions. I did that subconsciously. I wasn't aware of myself doing this until I discovered I'm an introvert and then I started to think about, well, how do I tick, what do I use and how could I use that better? And music always came up. It was just always there. And now I say it's like my red line, it's my best friend.

Speaker 2:

I can rely on music for anything. It can make me happy, it can help me when I'm sad, but also I can sit down and listen to some songs and I go okay, I need to sit with this. There's something I need to figure out or something I need to know, and I know music can help me get that out of myself and help me with those emotions and then feel a little bit more um, what's the word I'm looking for here? Balanced, maybe, I'm more in harmony with myself. So this is kind of where the music piece comes in and I just can't imagine not having that. It's like piece of me will be missing.

Speaker 1:

I know exactly what you mean. Now I'm going to be quite cheeky and ask you when you need more confidence and energy, who do you go to for your playlist? Like what's on your playlist to make you feel happy, make you feel more energetic, more motivated, more energetic, more motivated.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

Oh.

Speaker 2:

God, I love so many different styles of music. I could go if I really want to ramp myself up like really go, let's go, let's go. I could go into a little bit of either heavy metal there's like a Swiss rock band I really love called Gotthard. They're really great. I don't know if you've heard of Armstein. They've got some really good songs. But then there's also like really good dance music from like the 80s and 90s that really get me like ramped up and dancing and, you know, just get that positive emotions coming out. But then these days I'm also into k-pop, so there's a lot of happy songs so you're smiling. Then that that really um, even though I don't understand all the lyrics, obviously so I don't speak Korean yet it's just yeah, it's, I can tell by. I don't know, I can just tell that they're uplifting, they're positive and bring joy. So that's where I like to go to these days as well. So it's really hard to pinpoint just one.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I can think of a couple of songs already from a particular K-pop group. Let's not go down that rabbit hole. No, let's not. So, birgit, how do you use music to help your clients?

Speaker 2:

Well, I'm very chilled in that and I'm very like everyone's individual and I can't I have certain sort of a little bit of a framework, but generally it's sitting down talking about how they use music already and then it's a bit like brainstorming already, see what they like, what they don't like, and then looking for strategies and options that they can use in their everyday life to achieve what they want, what they don't like, and then looking for strategies and options that they can use in their everyday life to achieve what they want to achieve. So some people might struggle with unwinding and we look for options there. I mean, there's so many different ways you can do that after a busy day at work. Other people might struggle with being productive, so there's ways we can do it there. So it's really it's very, very custom, it's very individual, um, and we just do that in an hour to start off with.

Speaker 2:

So it's not overwhelming, it's. It's not too much, but it still provides a lot of good starting points to look into that, because a lot of people probably never really thought of that angle in their life. So it's just enough. An hour is just enough because, especially if you're a quiet, introverted person and off an hour your brain switches off, so no overwhelm here. So this is basically how I approach it and so far what I've done. Yeah, my clients loved, loved it, so I'm really chuffed about that.

Speaker 1:

I think it's just so unique what you do using music to help your clients either unlock their productivity or reduce stress or just find more balance and more harmony in life, and don't we all need more of that nowadays?

Speaker 2:

yes, oh, oh, my God. Yes, I mean I don't know about you, serena, but if you look at the world, everyone to me feels like it's just overwhelmed and completely stressed out, and then the mental health starts to suffer. Emotionally you might be completely in the dumps. I mean, we can really use maybe what people call unusual ways to help ourselves, and music is such an untapped and underused way of doing that.

Speaker 1:

How has music helped you step into the spotlight as an introvert and create your own podcast?

Speaker 2:

like as an introvert and create your own podcast. Oh, the joys of being an introvert and hesitating, and hesitating and pushing it back and I'm not ready yet and I don't know if this is for me and what will people say. I remember way, way back when I used to be a VA. I did this training and it was right in the early days where video became really popular and the lady I did the training with she said you know what, sometimes you just gotta rip the band-aid off, and that kind of stuck with me, even though I didn't do it for a long time. But it was a process. It just didn't happen overnight that I took this step to have my own podcast, be on camera and then do what I do now. Thankfully, I had the help of a wonderful business coach who also is an introverted woman, so she really could relate to me. But she was also calling me out on my own BS, which you can probably relate to because you know we do have a lot of excuses going on.

Speaker 2:

But I did it gradually, to be fairly honest. I started off with just writing blog posts, putting them out there, maybe recording a short one minute video, putting that out there, and then I started doing the podcast, which you might think is crazy because I'm in the spotlight, but no, I'm not, because I'm the host and someone else is in the spotlight. I just ask the question. So the spotlight literally is on someone else, not on me as such. I'm just there to provide the space. Yeah, so it was really a gradual process, but, yeah, I'm so glad I did it. It was so worth it to gently push yourself, but keep going and don't let the introversion, you know, hold you back. It's a superpower at the end of the day.

Speaker 1:

Yes, you are so right, and how long has it been since you started your podcast, birgit? Four years now.

Speaker 2:

Oh wow, four years. Yeah it's, I love it. It's actually one of my kind of teenage dreams come true. I've always wanted to work in a radio studio back in the days, and this is kind of my own little dream come true. So, yeah, it's possible.

Speaker 1:

Dreams do come true. So yeah, it's possible. Dreams do come true. They just don't always take the shape that we expect them to. But I think this is even better because this is on your terms. You got to create this the way you want, in a way that works for you.

Speaker 2:

Yes and that's an interesting observation I just had not so long ago that, yes, it is actually a dream come true. Yes, it's not in the way that I thought it would be. It can actually be better, you know. So it's very exciting. I'm very, very excited where things are heading and very grateful too.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and your podcast is called Living on the B-Side are heading and very grateful too.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and your podcast is called Living on the B-Side. It is yes, yeah, it is so music introversion combined in one, which is great.

Speaker 1:

Yes, fantastic. I will make sure to put the link for your podcast in the show notes as well, so listeners can check it out and subscribe. Thank you very much. So I picked up two things from what you just shared there. Number one was about it being a gradual process and taking all those little micro actions out of the feeling stuck or feeling I'm not good enough or I'm not ready for this, but just taking one step each time.

Speaker 1:

You said you started with a blog post and that was how you worked your way out into being more visible, because it is actually pretty intimidating for an introvert to put themselves out there and feel exposed and feel vulnerable and worry all the time about you know what are people going to think? You know, is anyone going to subscribe?

Speaker 2:

who's going to listen to me and all that isn't it yes, and to be honest, I do still have moments like that. I don't think it will never go away um the more. I don't know if the word successful is the right word hopefully it is um but I think the more reach we have, especially as business owners, whatever we do, the more we kind of expose ourselves, the more that will come back. But I try to just remember that I have to have faith in myself, in my mission, and one thing I'm really really mindful of is have like a circle around you that really has your back too, not just saying yes all the time. Obviously you want people who say no, why are you doing this that way? You can do better or, you know, pull you up on the excuses, so to speak. But yeah, just having that little circle that you can go back to and say, oh, I can't today Help, and then you still go and do it.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I so agree with you. I've recently found a circle like that as well that I've just joined, and you're so right. We just need that safe space where we can be ourselves and also be gently challenged, so that we will go out of our comfort zone and do the hard things. Yes, Because we can do those things. Sometimes we just need encouragement.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, and we're really good at doing things too. Encouragement Absolutely, and we're really good at doing things too. Just because the world is sadly still a lot more extroverted doesn't mean we're not needed. I do believe we are needed now more than ever. Because we're quieter, we probably observe more, we look at the world differently, and I think the world needs our different now more than ever, and really do what we do best. And every introvert has their own superpower, and just imagine if we would all pull together and really go for it. Wow, you know goosebumps for it.

Speaker 1:

Wow, you know goosebumps, and I love also what you said about how your podcast makes you feel safe because you are not in the spotlight. Your guest is, and that's an example of us setting up ourselves for success as it will, if you put it that way, because we generally don't like being in the spotlight, but we are okay standing to the side and putting someone else in there, but still showcasing our quiet strengths and our superpowers. For instance, yours would be asking the right questions, drawing the knowledge and the wisdom out of your interviewee, sharing gems here and there and just facilitating the whole process, making it run smoothly and, you know, in a way that's valuable for your listeners, and all those are superpowers yes, and also I think us introverts, uh, we do have this quality, this really good quality about listening and providing this space where the energy just feels comfortable, where people will open up probably more than they might would with a podcast host.

Speaker 2:

That's an extrovert. No disrespect to the extroverts. We need you guys, seriously we do, but maybe that's sort of the slight difference that we can provide and bring a different angle to a conversation that maybe not happen or wouldn't happen in another setting. So, yeah, yes, definitely.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I love that perspective Because I remember one of my mentors recently saying that only people who resonate, who feel that they are on the same frequency as you, will listen to you anyway. So we don't have to bend over backwards trying to cater to everyone and worry about the 90% that we are not catering to, because we are speaking to the 10% who really get us, who understand what it's all about, understand the introvert struggles, who have the same kinds of aspirations of wanting to lean in more into our quiet strengths and those are the ones who will be listening to us Beautiful.

Speaker 2:

Yes, oh, that is so true. I don't know about you, but I feel sometimes we overwhelm ourselves with all these things that we should do and shouldn't be doing and shouldn't be doing and shouldn't be worrying about. If we could focus more on who we are, our strengths and how we can use that to support others in whatever we want to do, if that's in your job, if that's with your relationships, whatever, can you imagine the energy that we would, that we actually is throwing out there in the universe? And that's the 10% that will come back, and the rest, you know. Do we really need that? I guess not, because it will just drain us. So, yeah, that's beautiful.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, the moment I heard that, I just felt a huge sense of relief, and there is no need to try so hard. We're just speaking to the people who want to hear what you have to say. Yeah, agreed, absolutely so, birgit. What is one thing you would like the listeners to take away from our conversation today?

Speaker 2:

one thing that is really close to my heart is pay more attention to the music you're listening to and why. It's an interesting exercise to do, and I am sure that your listeners will be surprised at the answers that they'll come up with.

Speaker 1:

So it's the key is be more aware, create awareness around it and see what comes up wow, I I'm pretty excited to start looking at my playlist in a more intentional way and see what that shows me.

Speaker 2:

Yes, oh, that you can go from there to so many different angles, but that's always a great starting point. Yeah, for me. I could go on about so many different ways, but that's definitely the message I want to throw out there today.

Speaker 1:

Fantastic, and how can listeners connect with you and learn more about your work?

Speaker 2:

There's two ways really. Obviously, the podcast that's the third one I just remembered and I've got a Facebook group that's open to especially, you know, quiet business owners who might want to learn a little bit more about how to use music in their busy life to create a bit more harmony. More than welcome to join me there. I've also got an e-book that talks about five little unknown music strategies. Goes along the same lines to create a bit more harmony in your stressful and busy life.

Speaker 1:

So these are three ways really you can find out more about me and what I do fantastic, and we'll make sure to pop all those links in the show notes so our listeners can take their time to explore and develop their relationship with music and with mindfulness and with harmony in their lives. Beautiful thank you so thank you so much, birgit, for coming on the Quiet Warrior podcast today. I appreciate you.

Speaker 2:

Thank you and same to you.

Speaker 1:

I appreciate you too, and that was another episode of the Quiet Warrior podcast with Birgit Liversy. If you have enjoyed your listening today and have enjoyed this episode, do like and subscribe and share this episode with your friends. See you on the next episode. I'm so grateful that you're here today. If you found this content valuable, please share it on your social media channels and subscribe to the show on your favorite listening platform. Together, we can help more introverts thrive. To receive more uplifting content like this, connect with me on Instagram at Serena Lo Quiet Warrior Coach. Thank you for sharing your time and your energy with me. See you on the next episode.