The Quiet Warrior Podcast with Serena Low

97. Healing, Soul Contracts, and the Power of Surrender with Kanika Vasudeva

• Serena Low, Introvert Coach for Quiet Achievers and Quiet Warriors

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Serena Low speaks with Kanika Vasudeva, a Radiant Empowerment Coach and Akashic Records Reader who helps spiritual entrepreneurs, leaders, and changemakers break through invisible ceilings and embody more — more radiance, more freedom, and more soul.

Kanika opens up about the personal tragedy that became the turning point in her journey — the stillbirth of her daughter — and how it awakened her to the vastness of life, the illusion of control, and the unconditional love of Spirit. Through her story, she shares how she learned to find peace, forgiveness, and purpose by connecting with her soul and understanding her soul contracts.

Together, Serena and Kanika explore how our deepest pain can become the portal to transformation, how to free ourselves from “good girl” conditioning, and why surrendering to the universal flow allows us to live with more authenticity, joy, and trust.

This episode is a reminder that healing isn’t about fixing what’s broken — it’s about coming home to who you truly are.

Key Themes & Takeaways

  • Turning Pain into Awakening – Kanika shares how the loss of her daughter became her soul’s wake-up call and how pain, when faced with grace, becomes a teacher of light. 
  • Soul Contracts & Akashic Records – What they are, how they influence our relationships and life experiences, and how understanding them helps us heal at the deepest level. 
  • The “Good Girl” Conditioning – How cultural expectations to please and conform can keep women trapped in unhappiness, and what it means to choose your own happiness as an act of courage and love. 
  • Healing Triggers and Inner Children – Why we get triggered by others, how every person in our life mirrors what needs to be healed, and how to reclaim lost energy by meeting our younger selves with compassion.
  • The Power of Surrender – Letting go of control, trusting the universal flow, and allowing life to unfold with ease and alignment.
  • Grounding Practice for Self-Love – Kanika guides listeners through a soothing earthing meditation to release heavy emotions and reconnect to unconditional love and safety.
      

Memorable Quotes

“Our first duty, our first karma, is to ourselves — to live our purpose and choose happiness.” — Kanika Vasudeva

“Healing begins when we stop blaming others and look within. Everyone in our life is a mirror showing us where we need to grow.” — Kanika Vasudeva

“The more we heal ourselves, the more energy and light we bring back into our lives.” — Kanika Vasudeva

Connect with Kanika Vasudeva

Connect with Serena Low

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This episode was edited by Aura House Productions

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, I'm Serena Lowe. If you're used to hearing that introverts are shy, anxious, antisocial, and lack good communication and leadership skills, then this podcast is for you. You're about to fall in love with a calm, introspective, and profound person that you are. Discover what's fun, unique, and powerful about being an introvert and how to make the elegant transition from quiet achiever to quiet warrior in your life and work, anytime you want, in more ways than you imagined possible. Welcome. Hello and welcome. My guest today is Kanika Vasudeva, a radiant empowerment coach and Akashic Records reader who guides spiritual entrepreneurs, leaders, and change makers ready to embody more, more radiance, more freedom, more soul. She helps her clients break through invisible ceilings, awaken their unique gifts, and step into a new level of clarity, self-trust, and authentic leadership. Through her work, clients experience joy in everyday living, where inspired action flows with ease, aligned opportunities appear, and their voice and presence are finally seen, heard, and valued, both in their relationships and in their field. Welcome Kanika to the Quiet Warrior Podcast.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much. I'm so glad to be here, Serena.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm so glad you're here too. Let's start your story with the career pivot. What were you before? And what are you now? And how did that happen?

SPEAKER_01:

I was a project manager before. So I'm an MBA by background, an engineer. Um very, very left-brained person is how I grew up. Decisions were really black and white. In fact, I really remember one of this feedback coming to me from my managers as well. He was like, Oh, you know, you always have like the next step planned. That's how I worked. And then I think somewhere I was in my mid-30s, and I just wasn't happy with life. I had a son who was just a little bit more than two years old, and I was trying to make sense of all of this because I was feeling as if my identity was lost. I didn't even quite know what I had lost because technically I had everything there, and what I didn't want, what I did want, I somehow knew I wanted happiness, but even that wasn't super clear to me. Like what else did I want? But I was just very unhappy, and then I found out I was pregnant. We discovered that I was going to have a female baby, so I was excited to have a daughter, but that was also another layer where I just started thinking, oh wow. Because what was going on in my head was that you know, she'll grow up and look at me. I'm unhappy when I'm at this age. What am I going to teach her? What am I going to do? How am I going to help her? How is she going to be happy? And so I was already carrying that worry as also. I was really planning for her arrival even then. But this pregnancy was really hard because I was grappling with my life, with how sad I was feeling, I was grappling with the fact that she was coming, and it sort of seemed to be like a situation where I felt it was all doomed for disaster just because of how I was feeling and how I could not unpack my life, then what was I going to give to anyone else? Um, and then one day I woke up and I just had not felt any movement inside me that night. Um she was 31 weeks. Um I went to the doctor and I found out that there was no heartbeat. So that meant giving birth to a stillborn. It was just a very hard experience. I remember being in the hospital and I didn't want to have her out. They induced me three times and finally they put me to sleep, so they gave me morphine to sleep because the baby was sleeping anyway. And that's when the induction worked and she could be out. She was out so quickly after that. But I was trying to hold on to her, trying to hold on in the sense that I just did not want it to be real. But it was a very hard time, and for the first time, I think very gracefully as well, that this was a time when I could not run away from pain. You know, holding her was a very physical thing. Coming back home, realizing that just a few days ago I was pregnant, now I was not pregnant. It's a very physical realization. Your body is going through very physical changes because body actually was still thinking that I had delivered. Um, and then you have the choice, you have the other stuff lying around in the house. There are so many physical reminders. So this time I could not run away from the pain. And as terrible as it was in the body, I'm very thankful that that happened. Because for the first time I could not run away from the pain and I had to face the pain. I wanted to really connect with my daughter, I wanted to get answers. How was she? I wanted to say sorry, and I really wanted to connect with her as a mom. So I started diving into energy healing. I found my way into the Akashic Records and tuning into the Akashic Records as well, really understanding what happened. And when I connected with her the first time, I asked her, I'm so sorry. Um and she said, Well, you did nothing wrong. And I was so surprised. What do you mean I did nothing wrong? And she's like, No, we had a pact. So before I had come on earth, before I'd incarnated, I had a soul contract with her, and my contract with her was that if I was wasting my life, she would come and wake me up. So this is exactly what she'd done. This was the agreement. Um, that took a big load away from me in the sense that I hadn't done something wrong, and there were so many layers to it. Um I started understanding, I think, for the first time of how big life was. I used to operate as kanika, as the kanika in the body. I used to be this controlling person, you know, so project manager trying to control, trying to control the outcome. That was always there. Whereas I think for the first time it became really clear that life is a lot bigger than me. And it's not just about day-to-day things and how we say that, you know, death can happen to any of us at any time. It's not just that. There is a universal flow. And when we are trying to control, we're basically just pushing against a very big tide. It's like the tsunamis, anyways, happening and we're trying to control it. There's just no point. But the great thing is that the universal flow is connected to abundance, it's connected to light. Whereas I felt I was a person who'd done something wrong. I came with so much guilt with that. Spiritually, there was nothing but love for me. There was love that, hey, you need to wake up, you need to have a better life, you don't need to have a sad life like this. There's more to your life, there's a bigger purpose, you deserve to be happy. It was me and the body who held the judgment, not the spirit, not the consciousness. So, with that connection, I'm forever grateful. And I think for me, this is still a graceful incident and a blessing as well. Because thank goodness this happened. Thank God I found my light. And that's what I wish for the listeners as well, that wherever they feel that life is so hard for them. Life is actually trying to knock on the door and say, hey, let's do something special.

SPEAKER_00:

First of all, Karnika, thank you so much for sharing and opening up something that is so private in your world and sharing it with all of us who are listening. I think no one who is hearing what you have just said can fail to be moved and inspired by the way you handled this uh unfolding, this situation, this, you know, what other people would just say it's a tragedy, it's a terrible thing that's happened. And yet, through it all, even though it was so difficult for you, you found peace through it. Just looking at you on the screen here, I see nothing but radiance and peace. That this is something uh that has shaped you, something you yourself say you're grateful for. And I don't know many people who would uh say who would use that word for something that they have gone through that represents grief and loss. But I think that perhaps is something we could go deeper into too, because there will be people who have never heard of a Kashik records or a soul contract, who are not familiar with those terms. So can you give us some context, some background? What what do these words mean?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, sure. But I'll just say I'm so thankful for all that you said, but I wouldn't say I was always courageous. Not at all. I was thinking so much at the time that I will die, that because life just felt so heavy. Um, but but I made a list actually of all the people in my life, and I put their names like my mom, dad, family, and so on, and I put their names and I said, Well, they will understand that I'm dying because I just cannot handle this grief, it's okay. There was one little boy I could not do this to, and he was my son. He was just a little bit above two years at the time, and that was a grace as well. Because as much as I was contemplating going, I could not do it because I was grieving the loss that I did not get my child to hold and play with, and yet he was there, right there in flesh and blood in front of me, and I just had to learn how to play with him because he would see me crying and he would give me toys, two-year-old kid, and he would just go, like, well, take the toy and play, and I would still be crying in a pool of tears, and I would hardly look at him, and then he would just give me another toy. So eventually you look at that and you go, Like, well, it is innocent, it is so sweet, it is so naive, it is so loving, and it is just how life is, how we tend to make it hard, and it's actually easy and simple, and that's what he was teaching me. So I was really held, I wasn't courageous, but life was giving me courage. My son definitely was teaching me how to live at that time. But yeah, moving on to soul contracts, and I think that's a very good segue here as well. Soul contracts are contracts or agreements that we will have with people in our lives before we incarnate. And even that's probably jumping a little bit ahead. As a soul, the entire reason why we incarnate is because we want to have a human experience, because we also want to learn and grow. We want to live life and work through challenges in life, because there's some taste that we want to have, we want to evolve. For example, maybe your soul has experienced love in some form. Maybe it's experienced it at that family level and you've always been loved. Then, as a soul, because you want to almost do a thesis in love, so you go, okay, well, what will happen if I get cheated in love? What happens if let's say dad dies or something else happens, and maybe if that's happened, okay, then what happens if let's say your brother gets somebody else that you don't like, and how will you love then? It is just trying to have a very full experience, like it wants to do a complete research, a complete thesis in the subject that it's interested in. The human experience might be very different. We feel things in the body, but the soul is wanting to learn and evolve. And for the soul, it's not good or bad, soul is learning, and that's why soul is actually just teaching us that hey, this is the next step. As much as it was grappling with my daughter's loss, soul wasn't trying to punish me. It wasn't saying you've been bad and you know we need to do something. It really wasn't doing that. It was actually saying, hey, there's more expansion outside waiting for you. But what happens in the human experience is that we really are disaligned from our inner purpose a lot of times. So we are looking at other people. We look at our family, we look at our boss, we look at our friends to feel how we feel, to feel how we feel about us. Do we feel good about us? Do we feel we are good at loving? Do we feel we have good skills? We look at the outside world. And soul wants us to understand our innate power, how much, how full we are, how capable we are. It wants us to see our own light, but we keep seeing outside. So, what it has to do, the only way it has then is to separate us from that and the so-called traumas that we have, because it wants us to separate from there and look within and go, like, hey, you actually have light inside, will you not see it? Because we continue seeing, we continue trying to look at the other lights outside. So hence we have soul contracts, and the soul contracts are made so that a little bit like how I gave my example, so that as we are working through life and whatever we want to learn, wherever we want to see our own inner light, these soul contracts then guide us and take us on that journey. Now, sometimes soul contracts could be a little bit past time contracts, they could be having impact from the past life traumas, and we can heal the contracts, we can bring them to a relationship of harmony and love. Any soul contract can be healed, can be brought to present time, you can make it how you feel. But if you are experiencing a relationship with someone and you feel that there is a lot of trauma going on there, or your words don't get heard the way you want them to, that undercurrent is the soul contract. Now it doesn't mean it was always the divine way that it was written. There might have been some other impacts, like there might have been some dirt, dust, you know, like when we don't clean our house, our house gets a little bit dirty. We just have to clean it. It's the same way with these contracts as well. That when you clean them up, they actually clean up and you see the result in the real life.

SPEAKER_00:

I heard a few different things in there. First of all, you said that we humans have a tendency to look outwards for verification, for validation. Almost like we instead of looking in the mirror and seeing ourselves, we look at other people as though they are the mirror. And they are telling us, they give us back the feedback. Am I a good enough person? Am I enough? Am I worthy? And then we get our answers from them. So of course they're all giving us different answers, right, depending on who we ask. So what you're saying is we should be looking inwards instead because we are already enough. And also because we are here to fulfill a higher purpose. And each of us has got a unique purpose that we are meant to fulfill. So we shouldn't be looking at other people because they wouldn't know, they would have no clue as to what we are here to do. So each of us should actually be taking responsibility for the thing that we are here to do and focusing on doing that thing.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. I think you summed it up really well.

SPEAKER_00:

So moving from the idea of soul contracts and the idea of a higher purpose and the possibility of healing, what has it been like when we grow up in certain cultural or you know, societal norms that tell us we have to be this way and not that way? A lot of us, you know, from Asian backgrounds, we were taught to be good girls. And I know we had an extensive discussion about this. How has that shown up in your life and how has that affected the way you made decisions and the way you lived?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, that's such deep programming. We feel that all that we are taught that's taken as the framework, you know? It is the framework almost like we get up in the morning, we brush our teeth, we have our food, whatever the day routine is, and then there comes a time, or probably even the first time, you're not really questioning it, we're just doing it because everybody does it. And so similarly, are these ingrained values, perhaps, or programs, conditions in the society, in the family that you just do. Sometimes you're not even told, but you just do. And I can give you so many examples. Like a lot of times for me, I was contemplating a lot before moving out, before separating from my husband. I didn't have a happy marriage, and it was not really giving either of us joy. But A, it was separating, it was breaking up a marriage, and then I had a little boy, and I wondered for such a long time that I was breaking his home, just the guilt, and especially the Asian family upbringing. That what are you doing to the child? Think about them. It was a really hard decision. But also that time I was doing the energy healing work, so I was pretty aware and I was able to look at his place, um, see him in the visions and see how it would be like, what his soul would like, how it would grow if we had stayed together versus how we he would grow if we did not stay together. And this option always seemed the best. But that's how the good girl syndrome plays out, where we want to be pleasing, we want to do the right thing. But think about it. If you are in an unhappy marriage, first let me not talk about the child, let me just talk about you, your purpose. You came here for your highest purpose, to fulfill that purpose. When we were born, we were not someone's daughter or son or brother, sister, any relation, right? We incarnated as the human beings, our first duty, our first karma is to ourselves, to nobody else. Because that is why we come in. If we are putting someone else, some relationship above us, you've given that thing a little bit more, right? Your duty first and foremost is to you. So if you are going to live in an unhappy marriage or an unhappy place, you're not doing yourself a favor, you are not giving people and the very child that you want to look after. Um, you're thinking that you will be together and it will be better for the child. But A, you're telling them that if a situation comes tomorrow and you have to choose between happiness or something else, choose the other thing because that is the good girl, good boy thing to do. So give them permission, give yourself permission to be happy. That is the path of your highest purpose. Give everyone around you the permission to be happy and to live life in their purpose. And second, um, kids as they grow up, they will always understand in the air what's really happening. Even if you're trying to hide, even if you're trying to pretend for them that you know we are together and it'll be better for the child, it won't be. Because a child needs a good home, they need to be provided for, they need to have a safe home, they also need to have a home where their belief that they can do what they want to do that is shown to them and that is encouraged in them. It's not just what you say, it's also what you do, what you show to your kids as well. So show them, live a life the way that you would like your kids to live it.

SPEAKER_00:

So, what you've said is actually the opposite of what we were taught that we have to stay together. The family has to stay together as a unit for the sake of the children. But you are right because children are very perceptive, very intuitive, and they are wiser than we give them credit for. Just because they don't have the language doesn't mean they don't understand what's going on. Everything is energy, so they can sense the currents. And then they know that, you know, the parents are not happy and there's something going on. So you're right. We do actually need to look at this in a different way. And and what you said about prioritizing the individual's happiness, that again goes against a lot of the conditioning and the programming. The idea of putting others uh over ourselves, ahead of ourselves, especially as the woman, as the mother, you're supposed to sacrifice for your children, right? Their needs come first. What are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and a great question. Thanks for this. Because, you know, when we are disconnected, that's where the first breakup of the whole evolution starts. We start feeling unhappy when we are disconnected from our inner compass, from our inner guidance, and we start looking at others for validation. So we are effectively putting that power outside. Now, the society template is actually then telling us, hey, look at others and then look at the other bigger group, look at your family and what are you doing in the family? And again, it is separating you. Now, if this was a good example, if this was a good template, sorry, then if generally you look at lives, I mean, most of us we are told that you know you're younger, you study, you go to school, and there is a place where you go do a job, you get married, or you have a partner, then you have kids again. We're almost all whatever ages, you know, that could be different, but we're sort of following this pattern. And if this pattern was okay, then a lot of us around 40s, 50s, because this is the exact template that we ask everybody to repeat, then we all should be a very happy generation by 40 and 50. Because this is the template that we recommend over and over again in all countries, all cultures. So we've got to look at our template. A template is wired again at separating us from our innate light. There's a fear in here. You know, there's a fear that, oh, if you deviate too much, what will happen to the family? If you deviate too much, you will bring a change, and then we don't know how to deal with that because that's going to be different. Whereas when you start looking at yourself inside, because that time you're actually operating from your truth and from the divine guidance, that time you only bring more light into the world. So it's only going to be more loving, more harmonious, because that is the vibration that you're bringing in and that you're operating from. It won't be anything but that. And what will actually happen is that the more light you bring in, the whole family group around as well, you're giving them permission to be more of themselves. It's a lot walking away from control, but it's coming together, not from force, but it's coming together because you like the other person's light. There's more permission here to be you.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm reminded of the difference between power and force. So, what you're saying is the way we've been taught comes from a place of force, from ego, from fear, from insecurities. And the other path, the higher path, would be permission to speak your truth, unconditional love, recognizing the light in yourself, and recognizing the light in others. That is radically different. And I can see how a lot of people might struggle with the idea that it is even possible that they can choose their own happiness, they can give themselves and their children permission to speak their truth. And because that means they're giving up control, that means they are allowing something that they have no idea what what's gonna happen next, they can't predict. And if you can't predict, then then what?

SPEAKER_01:

There is so much distrust in there, right? Yes, the real reason here is that we cannot trust the other person to be good. But isn't that such a sad thing? Like, doesn't that tell you about human state anyway? That the reason why we act or we have systems like this where we you know on the face of it, it says, Well, we should be together for the family, right? That's a facade because inside that there is distrust, it's like, oh, if you do something else, first of all, I'm going to get shaken up, my world's going to be different, and then I don't trust you. So it's just wrapped up in a facade of love, but it's not really love. Love is not that. Love is unconditional love, is when you can let the other person be who they are and you accept them for who they are. So you're not judging them, you are not evaluating them, you are not controlling things for them, but you are allowing them to be. It is actually very prosperous because it takes all that extra control, it takes all that extra responsibility away from you. You know how beautiful it is. If everybody could just go on, mind their business, and do their own things, we would not need governments to rule. We would not need to control people because we just don't need to observe them. There's actually not going to be as much bureaucracy if that happens. So the reason why all of this is, and we are going into the conversation around 3D matrix and the 5D consciousness, 3D matrix is very much around control. That is what we are all plugged into. This matrix very much is a win-lose. That if you win, if you get your way, that means I am losing something. It's wired to scarcity. But what if it wasn't the case? What if you unplugged from there? What if my happiness, because I'm not, well, my happiness or anyone else's light, by the way, only triggers someone else if it's not suiting their agenda.

SPEAKER_00:

That makes a lot of sense, yes.

SPEAKER_01:

So it's just not rational enough to say that I should dim my light because somebody else is. Agenda is not met. Like, come on. But that is effectively what all of us do with our kids, with our partners. That's how we operate out of. We are just scared to see their light. And I would just innovate the thought that maybe, and the numerous examples today as well, of people who are light workers, of people who are speaking their truth, they shape the world better. Like look at people around you where you feel like, oh my god, this person was so radical and they outspoke and they did something. At the beginning, they're all the odd ones. I'll give you a couple of examples. Like Albert Einstein, a long time ago, when he did the theory of relativity, and a lot of scientists, by the way, whenever they said something, you know, the first person who would have said that the earth is not flat, that person would have been really laughed at. All the great scientists, they got laughed at. But are we better off or are we worse off because of these people? In general, they spoke their truth, and because they spoke their truth, the world is in a better place. When you are really working with your inner light, with your guidance, you create a spark, you bring something else in the world. If we were all oranges, the world would just have oranges. Thank goodness for the apples and the peaches and the grapes and the cherries and so on. Steve Jobs, I think of him a lot because he was a dyslexic, so he really thought differently. And the world labeled him, or his teachers, his parents would have been told that he is a little bit off from the other people around him. But what we as humans label as weakness is such a blessing to humanity, isn't it? Because it was so good that he was dyslexic. Because of that, he had trouble doing lots of complex things at the same time and working through so many things. So he wanted to have simpler worlds and he gave us simpler Macs, he gave us simpler operating systems, he gave us simpler smartphones, which revolutionized then just how you and I we work with our phones. But he was different, and his different brought so much joy to the world, but so much advancement. So thank goodness for all the different people. Thank goodness for all the people who just dare to be different. Because yes, it's hard, the world's wired to control you because it feels wrong, because I because it might feel that somebody else's comfort zone is not comfortable anymore because one person is changing. I think we should change the stance and we should go, well, I'll adjust. You want to change. It's actually my problem that I'm not comfortable with it anymore. I need to deal with it.

SPEAKER_00:

That is a different level of self-awareness altogether, because usually when somebody else's change makes us uncomfortable, we then think, oh, I'm gonna get left behind, or I don't agree with this person anymore. It's gonna affect our friendship. Maybe if it's a family member, then you know it's it puts a strain on family relations. They become that weird, you know, uncle or auntie who doesn't quite fit in in at family gatherings, and maybe people might whisper about them behind their back and tell the children, don't be like that person when you grow up, you know, those those sorts of subtle um little hints that it's safer to conform, it's safer to belong to the majority. So, in that context, then when someone in our circle changes, a friend, a family member, a loved one, and we don't feel comfortable with that change, how should we respond?

SPEAKER_01:

That's the question. And I can tell you, I was always the odd one out in my family. Um now I know it from a much bigger perspective, but I was always the person, even as a young kid, you know, um, I was always the person my family loved drinking tea, and I tried drinking tea just as the smallest, weirdest example, but I just did not like it. Till date, I don't like it. I'm always the coffee person, and the you know, I'm the coffee person, they're the tea people. There's just so many examples, even as a little child growing up, where my family was one way, the simplest of things, and then the bigger of things as well. And I was always this other person, and I would think so many times, gosh, there's something wrong with me because I don't fit in here. Um, and I used to feel guilty for a long time for being this way in my family. Not that my family didn't love me, but I could always see that I was stretching them. You know, they could stretch, let's say, till 10, I would stretch them till 20. And then once they'd stretch till 20, I would stretch them till a 40, and then so on. So I never gave them a break. I think I still do, but now they're just like, okay, this one is fine, and she will just do her thing. But this is what happens that when you allow that growth to happen, at some level, you expand because you've seen someone else. You know, what are we all doing in life? So, yes, we all come in, we all have our soul purpose, we are living that. But when we have our kids, or when we are observing people around us, this is how the soul is learning as well. We are observing another life in action. So it's our chance to grow from just observing them and just seeing the decisions that they make and what they do. So think about it, they're doing things, and maybe it scares you to go out and be on the stage or do an audition for a um choir or whatever. But somebody else is doing it, and you just get to have the experience just by watching them. That is so much evolution for the soul. I think what the loved ones can do here with all the odd walls is that they start working within themselves what is it that is really triggering them? Because this is the other truth. Everybody in life is a mirror to you, even the oddballs, they are a mirror to you, and so I always think my parents, they really needed somebody who would show them a lot of things, and I've helped them their growth. But everybody is a mirror, everybody is showing you opportunities where you need to grow. We will often get in a relationship, and you know, it might be the first few years or however long we say the honeymoon period lasts, and then very soon we feel ah, now it's out of the way, and now we're feeling triggered. But you know what? Triggering is built into the system because that is the way of evolution, because what the other person is doing is just showing you that hey, this is where I need to show you that you need to be healed. Maybe the other person will use the truth space in a different way than you're used to, keep the dishes in a different manner than you used to, or speak loudly, or do things differently than you are used to, because they're showing you either your perfectionist archetype or they're showing you your child-wounded parts, but they're showing you things where you need to evolve. So when you see someone else and you get really triggered by them, actually ask what is it that is triggering you inside? Because what is the thing inside you that needs to be healed? Where are you feeling a little bit less than because you see that person in their light?

SPEAKER_00:

I think those are very powerful reflections, Kanika. Because most people think when they get triggered, it's the other person's fault. It's because they are different, it's because they spoke with a certain tone or they reminded us of something traumatic we've been through before. So you're saying that even if it was a reminder of past trauma, it could still be something more than that. It's not that that person is trying to make us suffer again, it's more that it's like a a cosmic reminder to look at our own uh healing because healing has no timeline. It's different for each person. And you know you are healed when you are no longer triggered by the same thing. So that's telling us, like you know, you said earlier on when our spaces are cluttered and need cleaning up, the same thing, the same kind of process happens. So we need to do that own internal clearing. We need to look inside ourselves and be very honest. So this thing triggers me because it reminds me of something, something that happened before, which means that because it's still coming up, I haven't been healed yet, I need to work on this area. So that's how that's how get prompted to grow.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. Like if I look at my life and if I look at my relationships, I can tell you about the partners that I've had, and I can actually tell you about the problems with them. That they were wrong, this person did this, and I will convince you that I was the right person, they were the wrong person. Yet the fact remains that I was the common person between all those relationships. So there was definitely something inside me that needed healing. And I've also seen that whenever I've healed myself of a pattern, then the person, the friend that I've attracted, they're radically different as well. So everybody around you is actually a walking manual to tell you, oh, this is where you need to be healed inside. Because where they are triggering you, if their loudness triggers you, if the way they dress up triggers you, that is a reminder that you wanted to be loud somewhere, or you feel that you are quietening your voice somewhere, you want to be loud. So go ahead and actually look in your meditations, talk to this part which gets really annoyed when somebody else is loud. And maybe that little part will say, Well, I want to sing and I want to do this, or maybe that little part will say, Well, I just need to write whatever their emotion is, they want to do that. Allow your inner child to express, and you will feel that their loudness will not trigger you the next time because you've healed yourself inside. The inside part of you, which wanted validation, which wanted to be heard, which wanted to be seen, once you've done that, that part gets healed. If I can maybe just explain that in a little bit more detail, what happens is, and I'll just talk about this lifetime, I'm not going to past lifetimes, but as we are growing up, um, maybe you know I did something wrong and my mom stopped me and said, Hish, don't do that. And yes, I got quiet on the surface, but there's this little girl who wanted to make that noise. So what happens is that my soul fragment fragments there, a little bit of my energy stays there because I still wanted to make the noise, I still wanted to dance, I still wanted to play play loud music, and I wanted to do that, but that energy gets scattered there. And so that's why when somebody else is loud later on, I don't really remember cognitively that this was the trigger, but I think, oh, I don't like the loudness. But if I take the time and go inside me, then I can meet that little girl. And when I heal her, the other advantage is that that energy that I have from that time, I can bring that back into me right now, into the here and now. And so when we start feeling tired as we grow older, or we feel like I just don't have the energy anymore to follow my passions and so on, the more we heal, the more our energy starts coming back to us because we release the energy where we have locked it. So all the people, all your triggers, they're actually showing you that hey, go heal yourself here, bring your energy from there. Then at a soul perspective, they're not trying to annoy you, they're really loving you. But in a body level, we sometimes feel that everything around us has to be loving. And I think I muse about this certain sometimes, and I just you know think uh in my meditations, but if only humans could listen to the lessons or their learnings when it is done in a loving manner, when you're not triggered, we often don't. We often repeat the patterns again and again and again. We might think that we are very smart, but I feel sometimes that we get in our own way. At least for myself and for a lot of my clients, I see that we repeat the patterns till one day we finally go, okay, my pattern is that I get wounded by people, or there are people who just stab me in the back and let me heal that now and let me have a look at what's really going on. But before that, they allow a lot of people to stab them rather than healing the first time.

SPEAKER_00:

It sounds to me like it takes humility, it takes honesty, it takes courage to go down the path of healing. Because that means I am surrendering this old identity that is very attached to, oh, I'm the victim, they are wrong, I'm right, you know, and therefore I keep playing out those patterns because they are safe, they're familiar, I know how the pattern goes, I know what comes next, and so I have control. But if I'm going to let go of this peace, if I'm going to find true healing, if I'm going to say, all right, I'm done with this pattern, I'm going to release it now, I'm going to allow myself to heal or to look at life differently, that means I have to be willing to step into that unknown between, you know, the before and the after version of me. In between, there's going to be a version that's not quite sure and not not very solid yet. And because it took me so many decades to get myself to this place, I don't want to go through that kind of transformation again because it's painful. It's like going through the wilderness with no roadmap, no signpost, don't know if there's a pit ahead that I'm going to fall into and nobody to guide me through it. So would you say that part of your work is also guiding your clients as they walk that transition, as they navigate that difficult transition between the old identity and the new self?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yeah, it always is. And we always resist that because it's hard, you know, it is easier to blame outside. Um, and then you start looking in and you go, like, okay, this was my pattern, this was my wiring, this was my conditioning. It becomes me, me, me. You know, it's easier to say somebody else is to blame when you realize it's your fault, it's harder. But yes, that does become the job of a coach. And this is where I think also the Akashic records and healing that really helps. So we didn't talk about the Akashic records earlier, but they are this mystical library, like up in the air, you know, just above the earth, hanging in the atmosphere. And there's this mystical library which contains all the information about us. It contains information about this lifetime, it contains information about previous lifetimes, about all our connections and everything. But when you start working there and when you look at things there, then you understand a much bigger picture. Not just from this lifetime. So maybe you are having a fight with your partner about a toilet seat, or it's something more serious than that. But you understand why you're having that fight, you understand the deeper reason of the fight, you understand the trust there, you understand the things at play there at a much deeper level, why that conversation is happening, why that is triggering you. And then you can also unravel all that and you can make it a much healthier connection. Um, so that when you are speaking, it's a lot clearer your message gets seen and heard. Because in the soul terms, or when you are going back to your soul blueprint, then that is all divine. It does not have to operate from that control place. That really operates from love and harmony. So the more you heal yourself and you heal the other person, or you when you're showing, you're talking to them, then in the healing, you can have their spirit come and see that at a very spiritual level as well, without having to do things physically. But what I'm trying to say here is that when you tune into the Akashic records, things can be done a lot quicker because you're getting to the root of the issue quicker. So, yes, at the end of the day, there is still the inner child, there's still the shadow part, you will need to face it. But the things that make it harder, they are gone. You know, think of it like a connection and or think of it like the seed of the issue, and then around the seed is all that mold that actually causes the whole pain. Like sometimes when doctors take out, um, let's say um, you know, you've had a cut and then it's had an infection. Um when they're taking out the infection, it's the infection that causes more of the pain. So it is not just the root of the issue, but the stories that have been formed around the issue that actually cause you the pain. But when you use a healing modality like this, you actually clean away all the mold around it. So then you're just dealing with the seed, and then it's a lot less painful because you don't have to always go into the emotions as deeply, feel everything as deeply, because you're just looking at the seed and taking that out. And it's as simple as looking at the old seed, which would be your old belief. For example, that I am unlovable. That could be an old belief, and then you put the new belief that I'm lovable as I am, and it's almost when you're doing it in the trans state, it's just like taking the old seed out, putting the new seed in. It's like being operated with um or under um what do you call the thing where they're anesthesia, yes, thank you. As if you were operating under anesthesia. It does not feel that hard because by the time you've come out of it, you've already got the new seed in there. You've got the new belief, and everything else around it has been fixed up. Um, it's like it's been renovated, it's all fixed up, and it feels much better in the body.

SPEAKER_00:

You've explained it very well. I think um that's why we talk about healing happening in layers, because there are all these layers that we've accumulated: the stories, the beliefs, the assumptions, the biases, and other people's opinions and so on, and old memories as well. And those so those form many, many layers that actually need to be removed. And the removal itself, yes, it is painful, but it is a necessary part of the healing. So, what is one final thing, Kanika, that you would like listeners to take away from our conversation today?

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, if I may, I'll just tune into the group and I'll just see what is it that the group would like us to answer. Something that we haven't covered so far.

SPEAKER_02:

So I'm just tuning into the group consciousness and seeing what comes up.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, the question here is just more around self-love. So we've talked a lot around oh, we are separated, and that results in the disconnection and the overall feeling of um of frustration or unhappiness that we might feel. But how do we then get to the place of self-love and where do we start? And what I'll do here is I'll just leave everyone with a little hack of how you can start feeling peaceful no matter what's going with you. And now, before I start this, I want you to think of perhaps the kettle in your kitchen or any other electrical appliance. Every electrical appliance has an earthing wire. The purpose of the earthing wire is that it takes away the excess negative charge. So let's say the kettle gets a fault and you touch it, you will not feel that. That's why the earthing wire is there. But as humans, we walk around and we might have a negative experience, but we don't always know how to discharge it. At a logical level, we know we've got to let go, we've got to move on. And that is why a lot of us also try to jump away from pain and go, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm okay, I'm okay with it. But we haven't really done the removing bit because we don't even know how. So, this earthing hack that I'm going to give you called grounding as well, a lot of times, it's just that. It allows you to connect with the earth and just start releasing. So, when you can, when it is safe for you, then just imagine that you are sitting, standing, however you feel comfortable, even if you're lying down in bed, that's okay. Just get comfortable and then just imagine that from the lower part of your body, maybe let's say belly and then downwards. Just imagine there is like this big tunnel that goes all the way to the center of the earth, right to the heart of Mother Earth, and it connects you there. Maybe this is like a playground slide. It's that tunnel that connects you to the head center of the earth. And so this is a big slide, or this is a big tunnel. And so whatever you are feeling heavy with, whatever heavy emotions you've got, you can imagine that they're all starting to get drained away. And maybe you have some people that really cloud your judgment at this time. Somebody's voice is ringing in your head. You have some worries, you have some troubles. Imagine picking them up with your hand and just humor yourself and just put that into the tunnel. Imagine it all going away from your space and just breathe. Just breathe. Just release, just breathe. Especially whatever is heavy that is going on for you. Just collect all the heaviness, collect all the pain. Imagine it's all going away from the channel. And then release. Mother Earth will do the job. She's got a good gravitational pull, she'll just take all of that away. And now here's the beautiful thing that Mother Earth looks after all of us, and she's got unconditional love for you. Unconditional love, unconditional support, and a lot of joy in her heart to see you. So there's this beautiful green emerald energy that is coming up from her heart and then starting to flow inside you. Just invite this green energy, just invite this love inside you. Let it go in your body, expand everywhere. Fill your heart with love.

SPEAKER_02:

Because you treasured, you loved as you are. Nothing for you to do. You are lovable, right as you are.

SPEAKER_01:

And so when you feel properly filled up, then you can open your eyes. And whenever you feel like having a little top-up for your energy, this is a good hack to go back to.

SPEAKER_00:

I loved that. I could feel myself yawning and relaxing.

SPEAKER_01:

That's a good thing. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, because you're releasing, you're just letting go of the tiredness. It reminds me of two movies I've seen. One is called My Neighbor Totoro. It's a studio Ghibli movie. And the other one is Moana. That idea of Mother Earth and that energy that is transformed or transmuted from that anger, the hurt, the resentment, the betrayal into unconditional love because it's been healed. So it's able to reveal its original self, what it's meant to be like. So thank you for that very powerful grounding exercise, Kanika. So, what is the best way for people to connect with you, to work with you?

SPEAKER_01:

People can find me at Kanika Energy Coach, K-A-N-I-K-A, Kanika Energy Coach, on Instagram or LinkedIn, or they can also find me on my website, artoflifecenter.com. And if you're going through something, book a call with me, like book a little chat so that we can understand what's really going on underneath the surface. What is the energetic layer to it? What is the pattern? What is the wiring? What is the karma that's keeping all of that together? And then we can work the next steps out. And that call can be booked at Artoflifecenter, C E N T E R dot com slash call. And I'll see you soon.

SPEAKER_00:

Beautiful. I'll make sure to have that in the show notes for everyone. So thank you so much, Kanika, for sharing your time and your wisdom with us today.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much, Serena. You've got a lovely way of explaining everything. And I just loved your deep, insightful questions.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to leave a five-star rating and review to help the Quiet Warrior Podcast reach more introverts and quiet achievers around the world. And to get the most current resources on how to thrive as an introvert, make sure you're subscribed to the Visible Introvert Newsletter at serenaloe.com.au. See you on the next episode. I'm so grateful that you're here today. If you found this content valuable, please share it on your social media channels and subscribe to the show on your favorite listening platform. Together we can help more introverts thrive. To receive more uplifting content like this, connect with me on Instagram at Serenalo, Quiet Warrior Coach. Thank you for sharing your time and your energy with me. See you on the next episode.